JOHA

How Much Privacy Is Good for a Relationship?

Emotional intimacy is the hallmark of close, loving relationships. It involves sharing personal information, including vulnerable truths. But that doesn’t mean sharing everything. After all, you might prefer to keep previous s*xual exploits to yourself, or just not discuss your bathroom habits. In thinking about your relationship, your natural question might then be – How much should I share?

The unfulfilling answer is that everyone is different. Some people say practically everything that comes into their heads while others are more protective of, or simply less inclined to share, their personal information. If there is a difference in how much privacy you and your partner require to be comfortable, this can cause problems. One person’s comfortable distance can feel like rejection or not caring to the other person. They might even interpret their partner being close-mouthed as them being secretive (an affair, perhaps?).

Importantly, there is a difference between privacy and secrecy. When people are inclined toward being private, they are generally not hiding anything that they think would upset their partner. However, being secretive specifically involves trying to prevent their partner from finding out something upsetting.

That said, the line between the two can be blurry. For instance, someone who fears being criticized might be particularly private as a way to prevent being attacked or rejected. Still, the “secret” is not about something that would be hurtful to their partner. Or, someone might not tell their partner something that they think would be hurtful, especially when they also didn’t see a benefit in doing so. (For instance, you might consider keeping to yourself that you think your partner’s self-styled, COVID-19 lockdown haircut is hideous.) In this situation, they would be, in a sense, “secretive” – though they would not be secretive as a rule. Whether or not that is acceptable is likely a judgment call.

How Alcohol Can Affect Your Erec

It's the oldest of consumed concoctions – going back as far as 9,000 years with a beverage made of fermented rice. It’s a stress reliever, aphrodisiac, sterilizing agent, preservative, and ice breaker at parties. Yes, I’m talking about alcohol. And what a storied relationship it has had with us through the last several thousand years.

But let’s get down to the nitty gritty. How does alcohol affect s*x and er****ons? Does it enhance or inhibit s*x? The answer is that it does both. Having a drink or two can relieve stress and anxiety and make it easier to cold start a conversation. In this sense it can enhance s*x drive and motivation, basically by peeling away the everyday stress that keeps the libido under wraps. And as alcohol weakens your conversation filters, you may end up saying things that you really feel without even realizing it.

But alcohol is also a depressant and a sedative and acts like an anesthetic. It numbs things up pretty good. Before the development of the first true anesthesia in 1846 at Massachusetts General Hospital, surgeons routinely relied on alcohol and bullet-biting to carry out operations. Drink enough of it and alcohol can numb sensation to the p***s to the point that it can be hard to get and maintain an er****on. Not only that, or**sm is harder to reach and is often blunted.

Literally over the same couple of hours, alcohol can both boost s*xual motivation and flatten your performance. It’s a fine line to walk. And, of course, s*xual performance isn’t the only thing to consider as you’re deciding whether or not to order a cocktail. If you have trouble controlling your consumption or if you’re going to be driving, consider skipping the liquid courage and take heart knowing that your er****on and s*x will be the be