Deepak Pandey

𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞?
𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 "𝐎𝐑".

Why do I say this? While it seems "OR" gives us two choices.

Tea or Coffee, Milk or Juice?

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 "𝑶𝑹" 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒔. 𝑯𝒐𝒘?

Should I exercise or take a rest?
Should I work or play?
Should I study or sleep?
Should I eat or lose weight?

Now you understand, that you have only one choice, and you also know what is that one choice.

𝑶𝒖𝒓 𝑩𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒆𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒔𝒌 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔.

What if I ask:

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝑰 𝒆𝒙𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕?
𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚?
𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍?
𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝑰 𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕?

This reframing will open a lot of options for you. Let me know your answers.

Someone said this to me today "I am overweight". I asked him what is your name? He replied with a beautiful name. Then I asked again, why are you calling yourself overweight then? You may have a few Kg more than the average, but that doesn't mean you identify yourself with the name "overweight"

Someone who is suffering from Asthma says, I am Asthmatic. My question to them is, how many hours in a day?

You can be asthmatic for 30-40 min at maximum rest of the time you are healthy. Why don't you choose to say I have slight breathing issues. Never give fancy names to your diseases and never put them as your identity.

The message that I want to convey here is never associate a negative word with your identity, when we do so it is very difficult to come out of it.

Someone who puts fat as his/her identity, no matter how much effort they make to stay fit, In few days they will lose the momentum and their body will again match to their Identity.

So when you are making a shift in your life, please check what your inner Identities are and if any Identity is not aligned with what you are planning to be, first change your identity.

Identity is what you prefix after " I am".
So what is your Identity?

Sometimes we need to keep ourselves first.

In any relationship, effective communication is essential to preventing hurt and disappointment.