Spark Coaching

Hopefully you enjoyed our first blog on the hot topic of how to hone your leadership in the face of change.

Today in the second and final blog in the series we are focussing on:

Leadership skill: Learn to Listen

Read on to focus your mind and pick up some tangible ideas when it comes to leading your team by engaging the often neglected skill of deep listening.

How to hone your leadership in the face of change and ambiguity

The last 18 months have felt a bit like a game of snakes and ladders for us all. One minute we are taking strides forward, even climbing a ladder and moving upwards and just when we think we are making headway, there’s that snake! This constantly changing ground has led to frustration, ambiguity, and uncertainty, all of which is exhausting.
Leaders are literally learning what to do when they don’t know what to do.
Even the most seasoned leaders are finding this long-lasting season of change arduous and are looking for unshakeable ways to lead themselves and those they lead through this landscape.
During this season it’s never been as important to listen. Whether it’s a crucial boardroom decision-making discussion, a staff meeting to explore ideas or even in those unexpected conversations in the staff lunchroom.
Leadership Skill: Learn to Listen
By listening I mean to listen to understand and not to reply. I’m talking about deep listening that helps the person who is speaking make sense of what they are saying.
In the West we tend to have an issue with silence, it makes us feel awkward and so we avoid it and try to fill the silence. In Eastern culture silence is valued and welcomed. They treat silence at the end of what they say like another word. They recognise that silence can be an opener. In our rush to fill the silence we can miss so much.
How about the next time you are in a conversation and there is silence you try out the most powerful coaching question in the world, “And what else?”. In this way you show interest in knowing more and you are communicating value to the person and what they are sharing.
Did you know that, on average, we speak at a rate of 125 words per minute; we listen at a rate of 400 words per minute and we think at a rate of 900 words per minute? So, the likelihood that someone speaking is saying what they are thinking is approximately 11%.
As you learn to listen, consider these 5 levels of listening. Look out for them in your interactions and conversations and challenge yourself to listen better:
5 levels of listening:
1. To yourself- be aware of your own thoughts and give yourself time to reflect. Don’t be in a rush to get to the next task or meeting. Take moments in your day to be quiet, relax, rehydrate, and allow your thoughts to follow through; this could be the time you come up with your best ideas. Or take time to stop for that water cooler chat about nothing in particular; this moment of human connection could be the catalyst for solving a problem or answering a question that you’ve been wrestling with.
2. To Content: Most experts agree that 70-90% of communication is nonverbal. That means if we truly want to listen, we need to do more than just listen to words others are saying. We need to look them in the eye and give attention to how they are saying it. Look out for body language and a change in posture; listen out for energy in the dialogue and be alerted to pauses – there is a lot in a sigh!
3. To Context: Context is like the backstory, and we should be humble enough to ask for and be interested in hearing this backstory. It’s listening to more than the details of an event or a moment but taking account of what influenced the moment or the event. It can be as simple as asking more “what” or “how” questions to build a fuller picture and understanding that “why” questions can infer judgement.
4. To What’s Unsaid: As you practise listening better to what is being said and how it is being said and start to ask the right questions to draw out more meaning, you will become a better listener, even to what’s unsaid. Instead of listening at a rate of 400 words per minute, you will discover the 775 words that are unspoken.
5. To Meaning: As you become a leader that listens well you learn skills of applying meaning, even when it is not explicitly communicated. This is an exercise in trusting your gut a bit more and demands a high level of patience and persistence. Deep listeners can cut through the distraction and pull out the meaning in every conversation, meeting, and discussion. For further study I'd highly recommend check out, www.oscartrimboli.com

Leaders, you may be feeling the pain of the ongoing uncertainty that has become the norm of the last 18 months, and you may feel like you’ve slid down more snakes than climbed ladders, but you can learn how to hone your leadership in the face of change and ambiguity. Learning to listen is the perfect leadership hack for this season and is one that will carry you into healthy relationships and a more holistic leadership in the seasons ahead.