Baby Steps

The Fertility journey affects everyone differently but I think tbis is a lovely message that might resonate with some of you.

"Sometimes you need to get out of bed, even though you do not want to face the day. Sometimes you need to clean your space, even though you have absolutely no energy. Sometimes you need to eat, even though you are not hungry. Sometimes you need to talk to someone, even though you do not want to communicate at all. Sometimes you really need to push yourself to do certain things in order to make it out of a dark time. Healing is not easy, darling. It takes courage and effort and it requires so much strength. There will be times when you feel as if nothing of the above is achievable but that is absolutely okay. You do not have to do everything, baby steps are enough. It is so important to remember that healing cannot happen if you do not take care of yourself. Yes, you are allowed to take a break from life, you are allowed to stay in bed all day and isolate yourself from the world - there is no shame in that - but you need to get up at some point and take care of yourself, my love. This is incredibly essential for the process of mending your own heart, for this is how you gain self-respect; this is how you grow."

[Illustration: Yaoyao Ma Van As Art]

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Our society obsesses the baby. We measure its progress in the womb, we eat and drink the right stuff to nourish it the best way, we host baby showers and give presents, we read a thousand books on what we should and shouldn’t do, we make sacrifices, and we do everything in our power to make these tiny humans thrive. And of course, we should do that. But what about the mother? Who is obsessing her?
There is a saying that when a baby is born, a mother is born too. So how do we support and care for the newborn mother? Who cares for her and ensures that she thrives?
Becoming a mother is one of the biggest changes we will go through in our lifetime. Yet our culture falters when it comes to preparing us for this staggering transformation. The mother seems forgotten in this process, tossed aside once that pregnancy glow is over, once that beautiful round belly is gone.
Anthropologists have a term for this. It’s called matrescence, The act of becoming a mother. And just like adolescence, it’s a massive identity shift that impacts not only our physical form but that also brings on significant emotional and psychological changes.
We need to start a different conversation around motherhood. One that is free of judgement, honest and real.
Words by gorgeous .karin
Muse .vernon