Mentor.Me.Maria

“Will it go right??”, she clearly looked anxious.

A worried, first time, heavily pregnant young girl expressed her nervousness on the video call with me. She was struggling with the thought of postpartum phase management . Will she be dismissed, judged or actually comforted? The fear of the unknown was real.

“These thoughts are not what you deserve at this stage” I said. “Why don’t you just address it by taking a joint session with your husband? We will have a mature conversation around making him and you, both, aware of what postpartum feels like and how best can you help each other.” I offered.

Excitedly she booked the joint session for Monday morning. As I introduced myself to her husband, I sensed his nervousness yet curiosity. “A Pakistani man agreeing to come for this conversation is commendable. I must say I’m impressed” is how I opened the subject. Acknowledgement definitely made him comfortable and validated his decision. The hour went great with lots of questions from his side. He looked much calmer by the end of the session giving his wife a promising look.

They giggled as I reassured them what a great job they’ll do as parents InshaAllah and how eager the little one must be to be in the arms of his/her mommy and daddy. Their eyes were sparkling; they were a cute couple in love. MashaAllah.

Without guidance, I feel, it’s unfair to have postpartum management expectations from men. There is a lot of science behind what goes on in a woman’s body during and after pregnancy but is never formally addressed. Lacking the art of effective communication is probably one of the reasons. I feel many men are willing to get educated on this as long as it comes without judgment, shame or emotional threat.

This is world maternal mental health week which is dedicated to talking about mental health problems before, during and after pregnancy.

Remember, knowledge increases the human power of managing situations. Information is liberating.
The more we master the art of effective communication, the more we are able to educate the society.

Much love to all the to-be and new-moms
Maria 💞

Wow Farah aunty, you’re nailing it!” I laughed and she laughed harder.

“My children are now grown ups. I can focus on my passion”, said .

“Woah! You’re starting your conversation instantly from your children. Your parenting journey makes me curious now”, partly in humour I replied.

“The one area non negotiable for me has been parenting. My children needed my attention and I found peace and joy giving them. It is after when my children grew up, I realised I had a bit of extra time in hand to pursue my passion. Believe me Maria, I didn’t know I was building a big brand. All I knew was I had some spare time in hand and I wanted to do what I enjoyed the most.
Combining passion with a healthy working relationship with my team became the recipe of success. How we manage our people is a key ingredient of success.
I’m also glad my husband and I were able to create a healthy marital space in all these years and, hence, he stood by my side with his unwavering support. That meant a lot. My children are also very proud of me and they are an integral part of my journey.

Wow…I thought. Such a dedicated mother and housewife. Such a positive mindset. Taking so much pride and deriving so much satisfaction from all that she has fulfilled in life surely sounds empowering. Ofcourse, how could she have gone wrong with her brand. Her success is defined by how she made sense of her ownself, her own space and her own priorities first.

Your journey is in your own hands. You will have to own the choices you make for yourself and manage your emotions around them. A successful life is not about a perfect life. It’s about resilience, growth, reflection and adaptability. Sort yourself, set your priorities right, do some consistent hard work, avoid blaming people around you, OWN your journey and watch yourself soar beyond self doubt.

More power to you all✌🏻
Maria