Senate Gold Publisher

DON'T TAKE UR WIFE FOR GRANTED

HUSBAND : I can't continue in this useless marriage.

WIFE : U call our blissful marriage useless?
A marriage that is bless with four children can't be useless.

HUSBAND : U can go with ur children .

WIFE : My children?
Am I the one who impregnated myself?

HUSBAND : I don't care?

WIFE : If u don't care, I do.
The children are ours and we must collectively bring them up in the way and fear of the Lord period.

HUSBAND : Rubbish.
U must leave my house tonight.

WIFE : [impatientl.] Give me forty five reasons why I should leave our house to my father's house.

HUSBAND : U are so lazy, u sleep till 8am daily.
Sleep brings poverty.

WIFE : One, remain forty-four reasons.
Talking about sleeping till 8am u know I always pray midnight for God to prosper ur business.

HUSBAND : U are also lazy in bed too.

WIFE : With due respect darling, u are talking nonsense; I can't satisfy u in bed yet our marriage is bless with four healthy children.
Am I a pr******te that will be jumping up and down in bed like dog?
Aren't you ashamed of urself talking to me like this in the present of our children?

HUSBAND : Oh! am talking nonsense.
Woman, I said leave my house now.

WIFE : [laughing tauntingly.] If u really want me to leave our house now then make my breast to stand as it was when u met me.

HUSBAND : Jesus! Emem are u mad?

WIFE : Am not and I can't be mad.
If u make my breast to stand as it was standing when u met me then I will leave this house now anything short of that is negative.

HUSBAND : I will buy u iron bra.

WIFE : Make it stand naturally or we leave together as husband and wife till death do us apart period.

[Senator Abel +2348083101869 calls only.]

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LETTER TO MR ABEL

Alas my back bone has broken in tweak

Thy lot is as twee as thy work

Thy fair work speaketh forever

Thus thy death is the commandment of the jew

5 Death our ancestral animosity

Thou that are bribe not

Thou that are call not to dinner

Thy aback is senile

You sit upon our happiness and dash our hope

10 Melancholy shall not be thy cloth

My father at thou even in death

It may be tarry but I shall see thee before the white throne

Thereafter the little children shall take care of the lion in peace

Adieu, adieu my father.

[Senator Abel 07062755207]
I dedicate it to my late father clan head, aka Alilip Abel Idaminabo who died on 14 march 2013 at the age of 100 years.

* * * LADIES U MUST RESPECT YOURSELVES * * *

This is a conversation between a barber friend of mine and his friend Akpan in Uyo Akwa-ibom state, Nigeria.

[ Enter BARBER and AKPAN.]

BARBER: Longest time man...

AKPAN: Yea, indeed but I have being around.

BARBER: Am looking for my girlfriend, actually she asked me to wait for her here.

AKPAN: Wow... What a co-incident , a girl whom I had a discussion with asked me to wait for her here too; she promised to go home with me tonight.

BARBER: What is the name of the girl?

AKPAN: Happiness.

BARBER: Happi_ what?

AKPAN: Happiness.
What is it?

BARBER: Happy is my girlfriend, she is the idiot am waiting for.

AKPAN: Ah! Am sorry my friend she never told me that she have boyfriend.

BARBER: How do u expect a slt to tell u that she have boyfriends?
Well if I can share her with other guys then I can as well share her with u too after all I can't marry her.

AKPAN: Well I just need a night with her because my girlfriend has traveled to Calabar.

BARBER: Certainly not tonight because I never had s*x for a week now and she promised me tonight.

[Enter HAPPINESS.]

AKPAN: Oh here she comes.

BARBER: [calling.] Happy...
Happy am calling u.

AKPAN: She won't come.

HAPPINESS: Am coming I forget my charger at home let go and get it.

[Exit HAPPINESS.]

Light fade slowly.

Ladies don't u think u deserve some respect?

[ Senator Abel 07062755207]

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