DocRobert

Labours of a Modern Small Time Hercules

I have an electric treatment table which goes up and down. It is 30 years old. Two years ago the electric motor died and I ordered a new treatment table made to my specifications from a company called Sysamed in Jerez de la Frontera. I paid in advance and they never delivered the table. So one year ago I requested a "Juicio Verbal" (like the small claims court in the UK) from the court in Jerez de la Frontera. In July last year they issued their sentence, in my favour. Sysamed has to refund my money (800 odd euros) with interest. The haven't refunded my money. What happens next is that you have to apply to the court to have the court order enforced. This I did in October last year. I sent my application to the same court that had made the judgement. I know they received my application, as I have the signed proof of receipt. I heard nothing for three months, so I began trying to contact the clerk of the court to ask how the application was proceeding. I sent multiple emails - no reply. I called by phone many times - nobody ever answered. I sent a fax - no reply. Eventually in a fit of fury and frustration, I fired off five emails in quick succession, all with the same text decrying their evident contempt of the ordinary citizen who pays their salaries and their obvious cynicism towards their role as public servants (which by the way means they have to serve the public - the clue is in the name). This had the effect of raising someone in the office out of their state of indolence, very slightly. I thought there was a chance it might: it is a trick I have used to effect in the past. I got a one line reply informing me that my application to have the court order enforced should be sent to the "Common Registration and Distribution Service". Whaaat?!!! I sent another email, asking them: 1. Why they had not told me this three months ago, when they received my application. 2. What had they done with my application. 3. Why they do not answer the phone. 4. For the address of the "Common Registration and Distribution Service". I got a one line reply indicating the phone number of the said office. So I phoned the Common Registration and Distribution Service. They answered the phone at the first attempt, and were helpful. They checked their files but could find no record of any application from me for enforcement of the court order. I would have to send it again, but this time to their office. In the meantime I had already looked up their address. It is at the SAME FU***NG ADDRESS as the court I had sent my application to. Surely they could have sent Juan or José or Maria along the corridor or up to the first floor to deliver my application to the right office? No, they couldn't be fu***ng bothered. I mentioned this to the man at the other end of the phone line. He suggested I phone the court to ask them what they had done with my application. I told him they don't answer the phone. He was sympathetic but fatalistic: "Ah", he said, "Yes, a lot of the courts don't answer the phone". In the meantime I had also sent a complaint to the "Consejo General de Poder Judicial" in Madrid (they have a complaints procedure) detailing my difficulty in contacting the court in Jerez de la Frontera and decrying their contempt of the ordinary citizen who pays their salaries and their obvious cynicism towards their role as public servants. A reply came, and its content was hopelessly irrelevant to my complaint. It was clear from what was written in it that the person who wrote it had not read my complaint with any care. Anyway, they sent me a link to the contacts page of the Justice Department of the Junta de Andalucía. I have used their contact form before. They don't reply.

Hassles like this are just minor inconveniences in this fu**ed up world where many people are suffering terribly. Nevertheless, in our smug, bloated and decadent society, mindless, stupid and uncaring bureaucracy is a bugbear sufficient to significantly affect people's quality of life. In our modern so called "civilisation", the machine is too large and complicated and unwieldy and over-regulated. Do this, don't do that, fill in this long form, and this one, no that's the wrong one, do it again, pay this tax and that one, meet these requirements and those, oh dear you missed something, pay this fine, and that one, prove this, prove that, justify your existence till your dead. And don't complain because it's all your fault if you didn't follow the correct labyrinthine procedures and we don't care anyway.

"They steal away your hours, and you won't get them back
You'll watch them scatter from the rear, along the railroad track
They steal away your hours, and you won't get them back
Watch them blow towards the night, along the darkening track"

Odd this... Two of the biggest (perhaps the biggest) British political scandals of the last 70 years, and osteopathy is in some way involved in both of them!

The Profumo affair (1963) was a major scandal in which John Profumo, the Secretary of State for War, lied to Parliament about his s*xual relationship with the call girl Christine Keeler, who also had ties to a Soviet naval attaché. When the lie was exposed, Profumo resigned, badly damaging the Conservative government and contributing to its election defeat the following year. Stephen Ward was an osteopath who moved in elite social and political circles in late-1950s and early-1960s London. He acted as the social link between John Profumo, Christine Keeler, and others, introducing them at his parties; after the scandal broke, Ward was prosecuted for “living off immoral earnings,” becoming the scapegoat of the affair, and died by su***de in 1963 just before the jury returned a guilty verdict.

Fast forward to 2026, controversy centers on newly released U.S. Department of Justice documents suggesting that former British cabinet minister and recently Ambassador to the U.S., peer of the realm Peter Mandelson maintained a close relationship with convicted s*x offender Jeffrey Epstein, including alleged financial links and the sharing of sensitive government information while in office. As a result, Mandelson has resigned from the House of Lords and the Labour Party and is now the subject of a criminal police investigation for alleged misconduct in public office tied to those Epstein files. As Keir Starmer, Prime Minister and leader of the Labour Party appointed Mandleson as Ambassador knowing (allegedely) that he had maintained these links, the affair may spell the end for Starmer's premiership and possibly also bring about the fall of the government. According to the newly released documents, Epstein sent about £10,000 to Reinaldo Avila da Silva, Lord Peter Mandelson’s husband, in 2009 after da Silva asked for help paying fees related to an osteopathy course. (According to an official statement from the General osteopathic Council in early February 2026, da Silva did not graduate from a recognised osteopathy course and has never been registered with the GOsC.)

[Photo: "Society osteopath" Stephen Ward with Christine Keeler (right) and friends.]

Si me dieran cien euros por cada vez que he oído a alguien decir esto, ¡estaría camino de ser millonario! Suele suceder que no conocen su cuerpo tan bien como les gustaría creer. ¡De verdad, es cierto!

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If I had a hundred quid for every time I've heard someone say this, I'd be well on the way to being a millionaire!

It usually turns out they don't know their body nearly as well as they'd like to believe. Honestly, it's true!

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Picture from https://www.amazon.es/Know-My-Body-Childrens-Physiology-ebook/dp/B01A2YJ2ZW