Simonetta Roma

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗯𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽.

𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿 once said:
“If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.”

It's a provocative statement, and one that hits close to home for me.

For many years, I was a people pleaser. If I'm honest, it's still a work in progress. I understand how difficult it can be to say no, deliver uncomfortable feedback, or make a decision that you know others won't like. The desire to avoid disappointing people can be incredibly strong.

But I've learned that requires a different mindset.

When our need for approval becomes stronger than our commitment to our values, we start compromising in ways that hold us back. We avoid difficult conversations. We delay important decisions. We put other people's comfort ahead of what needs to be done.

Leadership isn't about being liked all the time.
It's about acting with integrity, making decisions that align with your principles, and having the courage to do what's right, even when it's unpopular.

I'm still learning this myself. Every time I choose authenticity over approval, it becomes a little easier.

The real question is:
Are your decisions driven by your principles, or by the fear of losing someone's approval?

I'd love to hear your perspective. Have you ever found yourself choosing between being liked and doing what you believed was right?

𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗶𝘅𝗶𝗻𝗴.
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻.

As a self-development ju**ie (and I'm definitely one of them), it took me years to realize that personal development is not about becoming better.
It's about understanding yourself better.

Understanding your patterns.
Understanding your beliefs.
Understanding why you do what you do.

Because you can't change what you don't understand.
Many people don't struggle because they lack skills, knowledge, or potential.

They struggle because of the story they tell themselves about who they are.

A story that sounds like:
"I'm not good enough."
"Something is wrong with me."
"I need to change before I can be happy, successful, or worthy."

The problem is that when we believe we're broken,
- Every setback becomes proof.
- Every mistake confirms it.
- Every challenge reinforces it.
So we spend years trying to fix ourselves.

But what if the goal isn't to fix yourself but to understand yourself?

This is one of the reasons I was drawn to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).

NLP helps us uncover the unconscious patterns, beliefs, and internal dialogue that shape our emotions, decisions, and behaviours.

Instead of asking:
"What's wrong with me?"

NLP encourages us to ask:
"How am I creating this experience?"

And once we understand the pattern, we can change it.
Not through force.
Not through self-criticism.
But through awareness, choice, and self-leadership.
Because every behaviour has a purpose.
Every emotion carries information.

And every limitation is often the result of a belief that can be challenged, updated, and transformed.

Lasting transformation doesn't come from fighting yourself.
It comes from understanding yourself.

That's where real change begins.

Have you ever caught yourself trying to fix something that simply needed understanding?

For years, I tought the biggests obstables to success were lack of knowledge, experience or opportunity.

I was wrong.

Looking back, the biggest barriers were the fears I couldn't see.

The fears that quietly influenced my decisions, held me back, and kept me playing smaller thatn I needed to.

Can you relate?