Expansion Method

What I am versus what I should be

(The endless pursuit of self-acceptance)

Many years ago, I attended a seminar about self-acceptance.

One of our exercises was called “Face and Unveil Your Inner Critic.”

We created a table with two columns: "What I Should Be" and "I AM." For example, under "What I Should Be," I wrote, "I should be totally ambitious and goal-oriented." In the "I AM" column, I wrote the simple truth about myself: "I am mildly ambitious and live mostly in the now."

This exercise, created by Shai Tubali, Ph.D., showed me how much self-judgment and self-criticism I had. I was trying to be someone I was not, causing unnecessary pain. By comparing my expectations with my reality, I realized the importance of accepting who I truly am.

In our journey towards self-acceptance, many of us face an internal conflict. The mind, shaped by societal norms and external comparisons, creates a relentless pursuit of perfection, leaving us feeling inadequate and unworthy. The heart, however, offers a different perspective. It sees us as complete and valuable in the present moment, embracing our flaws as part of our unique structure.

True self-acceptance is a profound spiritual experience, a connection to greater wholeness and divinity. By aligning our mind with the heart’s wisdom, we can experience inner peace and self-confidence. Reflecting on these ideas, we realize that listening to the heart’s affirmation of our worth helps us transcend the mind’s limitations and embrace a fuller, more compassionate view of ourselves.

Thought Experiment: Unveiling Your Inner Critic

Take a few moments today to try this thought experiment by Dr. Shai Tubali.

Create a table with two columns: "What I Should Be" and "I AM."

In the "What I Should Be" column, list the expectations and standards you believe you need to meet. Societal norms, family expectations, or personal aspirations might influence these.

In the "I AM" column, write the honest truth about yourself as you are now. This should be without judgment or criticism, just an acceptance of your true self.

Reflect on these lists. Notice how the expectations may cause unnecessary pressure and pain.

Recognize the reality of who you are and how embracing this truth can lead to greater self-acceptance and inner peace.

This simple exercise can help reveal the inner critic we all carry and remind us that we are already whole and valuable, just as we are.

** The most challenging aspect of trauma lies in the profound sense of disconnection from oneself. **

In these difficult moments, rather than being present for ourselves, we often mentally check out (flight).

While this might be a psychological defense mechanism that helps us cope, the cost is substantial.

I remember a time many years ago, while being physically assaulted when I felt as though I had left my body. I watched myself struggling, growing weaker as I failed to remain present and anchored in my core.

The powerlessness I felt, at the mercy of someone so disconnected from their emotions, marked one of my life's darkest chapters. Drifting away during the attack seemed to lessen the pain, but only years later did I understand the deeper harm I had inflicted upon myself.

It was through my training in the Expansion Method and becoming a certified instructor, as well as undergoing my own trauma healing, that I realized the true challenge.

It wasn't the attack, the fear, or the heartless interaction between two humans that was most traumatic.

It was the absence of presence, the act of abandoning myself, that constituted the real trauma.

This revelation was my wake-up call. It was then that I vowed to dedicate all my energy and passion to developing a resilient core, an unshakable center, and an unwavering presence.

Many years have passed since that commitment, and life, in its infinite grace, has continually tested me. Each challenge was an opportunity to affirm the strength of my presence.

I'm pleased to say I've succeeded!

This doesn't mean I'm unaffected by life's ups and downs. I still feel pain, sadness, and fear, but I remain present. Through mindful breathing, expanded awareness, and embracing life's experiences with an open heart, I've learned to stay connected, no matter what.

Healing from trauma requires cultivating a state of presence and absolute trust in our capacity to remain present. In the realm of presence, trauma loses its hold.

I invite you to share your thoughts and experiences on this journey of healing and presence.

Energy flows where attention goes🌀

By learning to focus your attention on what's important, you can unlock your full potential and achieve great things.

Let go of negative thoughts and overthinking.

Don't know how to start? Sign up on www.getexpansionmethod.com for a free trial.

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Explore higher states of consciousness with Expansion Method – a safe and powerful consciousness-altering technique accessible for everyone. We want to help humanity make a shift to a higher level of consciousness, unleashing an inner intelligence for creative and harmonious actions in the world.