Guido Rizieri

Healing toxic shame is one of the most difficult things to do. When a child is not given the love care attention and validation he needs, he develops toxic shame, sense of worthlessness, and carries it in adulthood. Reconnecting with him, feeling the little baby, little boy or little girl within, feel his/her vulnerability and give it the love is crucial. Staying with the feeling of shame as well, and shame is very unpleasant to feel.

The one issue I have observed with "spiritual" or healing communities is that they bypass or avoid the topic of trauma. They often don't mention it, and simply focus on vague stuff such as "raise your vibrations" or "awake your kundalini". But True healing is healing and release the repressed emotions within, and free the locked hurt in your body cells, while changing and shifting the limiting beliefs deeply ingrained in your subconscious mind reconnecting your parts into a whole again (which is already there, the "you that is not a part", but is buried and not in command).

Awakening happens through healing, which in turns means going towards the trauma, the hurt, the repressed emotions and the core beliefs. "Spiritual practices" and pratictioners who avoid ever talking about trauma an jump into some awakening of "ultranatural" things are doing what is by now well-known and established: spiritual bypassing. LACK OF AUTHENTICITY will be the number 1 signal or alarm that such practice is doing so, or the inevitable results, when the word trauma, which should be at the center of the work, is altogether avoided.

It is crazy to me that so many content producers and coaches insist on the positive thinking thing. The MENTALITY point. It DOES NOT WORK for cPTSD. It can even lead to feel worse as the inability to sustain that can make people in recovery feel like it's their fault because that thought is their DEFAULT setting. The n1 problem they face is a very hidden, deep rooted conviction that they are FAULTY at their core (toxic shame). And as long as these core beliefs, which come with a deep sense of loss, possibly unbearable shame, are not SAFELY identified and held, the system will keep firing up negative beliefs because THEY PROTECT the system from perceived threats. They served a purpose─ they are what in IFS are called "protectors".

I don't deny that thinking more positively is beneficial and is what they need, but the key here is that they CANNOT do it on their own just yet, until the protector knows that it is safe to do so. Through IFS or another approach that reaches down to the subconscious mind. So stop your "mentality" s**t will ya?