Structured Success - ADHD Coaching & Academic Strategy

Self-regulation isn't the same as control. Whether it's emotional regulation, sensory regulation, somatic regulation or similar, self-regulation is about making sure that we have some slack in the system so unexpected events don't end up distressing us and making us respond in ways that compromise our physical, mental, or social wellbeing.

This means that you don't have to stop feeling an emotion, or even reduce the size of an emotion, in order to emotionally regulate. Instead, you need to check-in with yourself to see if you can absorb a mild shock, change, or unexpected event without it overwhelming and distressing you.

If you can, great, you are regulated. If you can't or if you aren't sure, take the time to process the emotion you're experiencing and use some self-regulation techniques to add that slack back into the system

I mean, I know the answer: it's an effect of executive function difference and interest-based nervous systems.

Because our nervous system rewards us so much more for doing things that we're interested in than things that we're not, our interests often capture us to a greater degree than allistic, non-ADHD'ers. This happens for the big things like our special interests and highly specialized skills, but it also happens for things like reading versus math.

We're more interested in one than the other, our brain rewards us MUCH more for our interest, we spend more time on it and gain more skills, and the gap between them grows bigger and more noticeable over time.

Getting a diagnosis is associated with both positive and negative consequences. On the good side, diagnoses can help us understand ourselves and plan appropriately for the future, including setting realistic treatment goals. They can also enable us to identify and build supports towards personal growth.

On the other hand, diagnoses can feel like a burden to shoulder, adding to self-shame and undermining self-esteem for some people. They can lead to a decrease of support from people in our lives sometimes, and can encourage stereotyped thinking and expectations.

On the whole, getting diagnosed with any neurodevelopmental condition is a mixed bag. There's some good that comes from it, but also some bad, and the amount of either really depends on the person and their context.

Source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8727520/

There are bunch of different ways to get to the same behavioural or emotional result when it comes to psychology. Not being able to get started with a task, for example, can happen in many ways and is common to many neurodivergent experiences. However!

Different people, with different neurodivergent conditions, have different needs. Having the self-awareness to understand the root of these experiences is so important in finding the right tools for us. And this is also a reason why it's so important to try out a bunch of different strategies. Just because one doesn't work, doesn't mean that another won't~

Different people need different tools, so their tool boxes are going to look different too. That's okay. In fact, that's the point, imo