mscowell
06/15/2023
Think of all the phrases we use to make things more pleasant, when someone is sick we say under the weather; when someone dies we say passed away or eternal rest. This language can be very challenging for children and youth.
The best advice we were given when I was diagnosed with cancer was to use the word "cancer." It was explained that if we use illness or sick children think of it in terms of their own experience. My daughter was 5 turning 6 at the time of my diagnosis and at this age they know that sickness (colds) get passed from one person to the next and in order to alleviate the fear of this using the term "cancer" (cause that's what it was) we were able to alleviate the fear of "catching" it for her.
The same goes for death and dying; use the words with children, it is clear and they are able to better understand. In the work I have done through the grief recovery method telling children that the body doesn't work anymore is what death is allows them to better come to terms with what is happening around them.
What do you recall hearing people say around death, dying, illness or any other uncomfortable topic when you were a kid?
05/14/2023
It is mother's day, please take a moment to acknowledge that this day looks different for all. However you are feeling and wherever you are on your journey I see you and am holding space for you today.
Some losses have layers to them. Especially for children, a single event can result in multiple losses. Think about divorce.
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Divorce is when a committed relationship dissolves or ends. Children do not have a say when adults decide to end their relationship. Child feels loss of control and expectations.
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Living arrangements often change. Child feels upheaval.
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As a result of the living arrangements changing, schedules often shift.
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Loss of security can also be a result of divorce, fear of the future, unknown.
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This single event is complex for all and often results in very challenging feelings because of the multiple losses or layers to the event. It takes time and space to work through the layers. Grief Recovery Method is one way of work through the unresolved feelings.
05/07/2023
Where do you feel grief? For me it is my head, especially after a good ol' cry session.
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