Picards Flute FC

Go the flutes

MATCH REVIEW:

With the start of a new season upon us, it gave Picard’s the opportunity to strive for some slightly better than disappointing results. The second match of the season put us up against the “Killers”, clearly based on some of their player’s former occupations.

With an interesting side and some fresh recruits adding some talent to the line-up, we were confident in our ability to stay in the match for the first half while we had legs. We started the game strong with Andy ‘Collies are in for a big year’ Morrissy snagging two goals which almost certainly left his backside in severe pain, finding the top and bottom corners respectively. Huxtable in goals kept The Flutes in the game and the rumour mill has it that Adrian ‘how many standard drinks’ Marsegaglia may find himself listed as a free agent in the near future. Even with some handy goalkeeping they managed to get one back before the real fireworks started happening. Joshua James Adamson found himself in a tangle with one of the more fiery opponents before he almost had his head taken off by a left hook by someone who clearly had a combination of excess testosterone and a slightly to large care-factor for Tuesday night C grade futsal.

This left the opposition distracted giving the opportunity for Alex ‘Deso’ Martin and Sam ‘I’ll just walk home’ Withers to combine producing some play which left all surprised where this talent had been hidden for 18 years. From here things went downhill with the opposition starting to find their feet, contemplating their life position if they were to lose to the likes of Picards FC. Unfortunately, The Killers pulled away in the second half, with the Flutes applying their textbook lacklustre defense, with the likes of Joshua ‘Hard ball’ Leigh at times dodging any intersection with the ball and letting the opposition stroll in to slot yet another snag.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be for the Flutes, but if anything was to come out of this game, it is that most of the squad still has very little understanding of the rules of a game we have been playing for over 6 months.

Much like most of our team members, Christmas has cm early this year. The flutes recorded their first ever back to back victory last night with our best win yet over 6th on the ladder, The Killers. Much to our disappointment this was not the well-known alternative rock band The Killers and was unfortunately a team of over competitive wankers.

With the debut of Keenan “It’s my round” Webster into the team and 2nd timer Andrew Marrollo standing tall at 4 foot 9 and a half, it was always going to be tough for The Killers. The big left boot of Sam Withers put the boys ahead 1-0 early in the first half but Killers shot back with a 360 no scope from half way with 5 seconds remaining to end the half at 1-1.

Our only player that is as overrated as Nic Naitanui, Tom Martin gave his best efforts to help the team to a loss with one of the worst performances seen all season. This included tripping on the ball several times and a very almost own goal, but luckily goal keeper Adrian “Big Fudge” Marsegaglia got his mittens up just in time with his best save of the season.

With some heckling from superstar Italian Andrew Marrollo, and yellow card specialist and homeless man Connor McAlpine, we drew the opposition yellow card leaving them a player short for 3minutes. The boys in high vis capitalized on this and scored a Fifa like goal with 2 minutes left on the clock to put us in the lead. Our Ross Lyon defense work, and another left boot sausage from Sammy Withers with 2 seconds left on the clock sealed the deal for Picard’s and our most inspirational win was final.

The shock win has been put down to the boys training camp at Rottnest Island over the weekend. While other Rottnest attenders have said to have seen the boys at Castaway, behind the scenes we had been training hard at Pinkies beach playing quokka soccer.

We would like to thank our friend whom we only know as Ian, for his awesome referee work. His one-sided calls and support in favor of our team touches our hearts.

-The Flutes