Rethinking Education

Big emotions are normal for all of us. Me, included! Most days, at least one of my four girls will experience big emotions - anger, frustration, sadness. There is often shouting, there are usually tears and I find that they just need me to be there. Not necessarily to say anything, or fix anything but just to be there. To stay connected. To be a stable, secure anchor as the wave of emotions hit and eventually subside.

I've learned the hard way that in the midst of big emotions, it isn't the time to reprimand for rudeness or discuss better ways of handling big emotions. That can be saved for later.

So, given that all children (yes, even the older ones! It isn't just a toddler thing) need support, why are schools still isolating children to manage these big emotions alone?

Whether you call it 'time out', 'isolation' or something more palatable like 'the thinking chair', these are all discipline practices where a child is separated and left alone to manage their feelings.

I get it. If you have a child in the classroom whose behaviour is disruptive and affecting others then removing them makes sense. After 12 years in the secondary school classroom, I have removed children myself. Kept them in the corridor, sent them to a head of year. In almost all cases, though, they were left alone to manage big emotions because everyone was busy. Or we weren't as aware of a child's emotional needs as perhaps we should have been. After all we are there to educate.

The truth? I became a teacher to support the whole child. This includes their emotional development. I was complicit in punishing children for having big emotions. I expected them to have the tools to manage their emotions when in truth, most if us adults can't do that all the time. Let alone children and teenagers.

Once I became a parent, my whole perspective changed. I couldn't stay in teaching. I felt that the whole system needed rethinking. I wasn't prepared to have my child in a school that didn't prioritise emotional and mental health. Some schools are doing better. But there is a long way to go.

How does your child's school or nursery support your child emotionally?

So true!

Yes. 💖

Via WholeHearted School Counseling