MuttMix

Mom says she loves me.

I believe her...
Until she opens Google.

Then suddenly it's:
"Can dogs eat tomatoes?"
"Is spinach safe for dogs?"
"Can dogs have pineapple?"
"How many chicken feet are too many chicken feet?"
"Wait... does this peanut butter contain xylitol?!"

Meanwhile...
I have been waiting approximately 17 business days for one tiny taste.
Mom, I watched you make the snack. I watched you sit down. I watched you unlock your phone. I watched you read 14 different articles. I watched you compare opinions from three veterinarians, two pet nutrition websites, and one article written sometime around the dinosaur era.

At this point... I no longer even want the snack.
I just want closure.

The funny thing is... when food falls on the floor?
Nobody Googles whether I can have it.
The 5-second rule simply doesn't exist when you have a 2-second dog.

Blink once... It's gone. Evidence destroyed. Crime unsolved.

Also...
Mom Googled whether I could eat olives.
Friends...
I already answered that question.
I sniffed one.
Gross.
No thank you.
Some things don't need scientific research.

Anyway... if anyone needs me, I'll be lying here looking dramatically underfed while Mom finishes researching whether one microscopic bite is safe for my delicate digestive system.

Please send snacks.
(After checking with your hoomans first, obviously. Mom made me say that. 🙄)

Love,
Shadow