Serve.pray.convert

Although life be life-ing. God be God-ing too. And in so grateful my faith isn’t defined on feeling

your kid isn’t broken. their brain is under siege.
i used to look at my child’s behavior and think something was wrong w/ them. the explosive reactions over nothing. the inability to function w/o a screen in their hand. the glazed over look when i tried to talk to them. i thought i was dealing w/ a discipline problem. i was dealing w/ a neurological one.
screens flood a developing brain w/ dopamine at levels God never designed it to handle. over time the brain adapts, it needs more just to feel normal. so your voice becomes background noise. church becomes torture. playing outside becomes “boring.” and the meltdown when you take the screen away? that’s not defiance. that’s a nervous system in withdrawal.
but here’s the part that wrecked me. while i was focused on managing screen time, the enemy was using that screen to do something far more strategic. he was stealing the silence. the boredom. the stillness. every single condition God uses to draw a child’s heart to Him. a child who can’t tolerate 30 seconds of quiet is a child who will never hear the still small voice. and that’s not a coincidence. that’s a calculated attack on your home.
the Devil in the Living Room walks you through all of it. the brain science behind what screens are actually doing to your child’s nervous system, the spiritual warfare most parents don’t even know they’re in, and a real plan to take the ground back.
here’s what moms are seeing on the other side of this guide:
kids who can sit w/ boredom and actually create again. the drawing, the building, the imaginary worlds, it comes back. kids who can hear “no” w/o a full nervous system meltdown b/c their brain isn’t in a constant dopamine deficit anymore. kids who start asking questions about God unprompted, b/c they finally have the inner stillness to wonder. kids who make eye contact again. who want to talk at dinner. who choose to play outside. homes that feel lighter b/c the tension that lived under every screen interaction is gone. moms who stop parenting from guilt & start parenting from authority, clinically informed and spiritually grounded.

drop DLR & i’ll get it to you.

In the homily today something was said around the idea (and I phrase it this way so quotes aren’t misrepresented by me) that there is no greater hope than the hope that our sins can be forgiven.
I sat with for the rest of Mass & I think I will going into this week.

I don’t say that casually... I say it as someone who lived it and still does… I felt it in the reception without judgment from our church these last years & i still feel it within our community as I grow imperfectly towards heaven.

I’ve been wanting to talk about what’s been happening since Jon’s baptism bc if you’ve been following along you may have noticed I’ve been quiet. Since Easter Vigil I’ve felt this weird disconnection from God. Like the line just went silent. And for someone who spent the last 2 years basically drowning in His presence, I couldn’t wrap my brain around it 😆😆.

So I started thinking about this, as someone in recovery I know what dopamine feels like.. may have chased it for a year or decade 😆…. And the Holy Spirit was giving me those hits on repeat for 2 solid years... learning how to meet god in personal prayer, starting to regularly go to adoration, our run with celibacy as we weren’t married, getting married, Jon telling me he was joining Catholic classes, Jon getting baptized was the most beautiful night of my life, other things well one day share about when God says go, but for now are our & then… nothing. Just quiet. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

I’ve had time to sit in it though & here’s what I think is happening. For 10 years I was the one holding our family together in faith. The one carrying it & now Jon is stepping into who he was made to be & he is leading our family spiritually & I am learning what it actually means to let him lead in that category & maybe it’s possible my whole self is just exhaling.

I think the silence is an invitation. Not punishment. An invitation to find God outside the feeling.

Bc faith isn’t just for the moments when you feel it (hard lesson). He’s there even when it doesn’t feel like anything. Today is Ascension Sunday & it just clicked for me. (My brain takes time to get things okay). Jesus left so they could be filled by the Holy Spirit. He left so they’d be prepared. Maybe that’s what this season is for me?

I keep coming back to “empty me, fill me, use me”. From mother Olga, Asking Him to empty me of the greed of needing to feel Him to believe He’s there & just fill me until it spills out without me even trying.

Sooooo that’s where I’m at Not resolved. But real 😆😮‍💨 also this sickness I went through didn’t help.

Love you guys 💜💜
More detailed write up in caption if you’d like it!

If you've been following me closely, you've seen I'm going through a bit of a spiritual dry spell.. hence not as much sharing! Share with me how God's touched your life! I'd love to get connected.