The Backyard Buddha

Codependents are masters at lying to themselves because they’re masters at abandoning themselves.

Every morning this is my routine:

-Don’t check notifications for an hour.
-Meditate for 5 - 10 minutes.
-Transmute limiting perspectives.
-Journal and focus my energy.
-Create and share content.

Do you know how often I want to do this routine right when I wake up?

Never.

Every day I want to check my messages.
I want to get up and start talking to people.
I want to jump up and do something impulsive.
I want to get lost in the external world.

Anything to get away from myself.

Anything to get away from my feelings.

I don’t like being with myself.

Because I don’t like myself.

So I’m addicted to escaping myself.

Like an alcoholic is addicted to drinking alcohol.

The last thing I want to do when I wake up is take care of myself emotionally.

Which is why I do it without exceptions.

It’s a non-negotiable for me now.

Because I’ve seen what happens when I neglect myself and it’s not pretty.

My entire being is strained with anxiety and tension.

I’m a people pleasing mess.

I’m anxiously waiting for others to give me approval, attention and good energy.

I’m stressed and worried over how to get accomplishments like money so I can finally be happy.

I’m a slave to anything that gives intense pleasure or stimulation like s*x, w**d or video games 🎮

I’m highly irritable because I lack emotional stability.

I’m disconnected from my purpose and most importantly…

I’m disconnected from my own happiness.

I’m honestly not even alive in that state.

I’m just slowly wasting away.

A distracted, dissociated shell of a Human being whose greatest pleasure in life is numbing their own existence.

Passive $uicide.

My experience of life became dramatically better once I decided to stop settling for that pathetic existence.

Because I deserve better.

I deserve to feel better.

I deserve to be happy.

I’ve been through so much hardship and pain.

And I’m done waiting for life to make me happy.

I’m going to actively choose to be happy.

Which means discovering tangible ways to support my emotions and heal my trauma:

-Therapy
-Shadow Work
-Belief Work
-Inner Child Healing
-Journaling
-Meditation
-Affirmations
-Hiring Coaches
-Reading Books
-Listening to Podcasts
-Joining Supportive Communities

The right knowledge + action = transformation.

📲 FOLLOW FOR MORE SELF-LOVE POSTS
💌 DM FOR PERSONAL COACHING

Take that energy you’re investing into attachment and invest in security.