Designed Service

Colossians 1:9-10, “9 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,[e] 10 so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God” (NIV)

Matthew 5:16 (ESV)
16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that[a] they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
As a mother of a child with special needs, I do not want the light on me or my child. We are doing our best, but we are messy and difficult and unpredictable and cranky and, quite frankly, tired. But we also have good works, so maybe we need to let the light shine on us. People try to be kind, but no one wants to get too close. Maybe if they saw our light, they would understand that yes, we have moments that are very unpleasant, but we also have moments that are remarkable. My son is a human weather station. If he tells you to take an umbrella, you take an umbrella no matter how clear the sky looks. My son cannot sit still in a classroom or a living room, but you put him in front of a window with a weather event brewing, he will sit there for hours. His hero is Sean Casey, the filmmaker gone storm chaser that created the T.I.V. (tornado intercept vehicle). The light that shines through my son when discussing weather is remarkable, and it is a handy skill when trying to decide if you need a jacket.

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24 NIV God wants to answer prayer. God wants to bless his children, but he has one condition. You must believe. Sounds easy enough. I believe in God. I believe Jesus rose on the 3rd day and I believe the Holy Spirit is a huge blessing. But do I believe God will answer my prayers as I start year three of praying for my baby to overcome his special needs challenges. Sure God loves me and my baby but as the song goes, "I will never understand how my broken heart is part of your plan." But God tells us we need to believe. So another song says "I will believe in the unseen. (or something like that)" My son is not "cured" but he is much improved. When he was a baby, we feared for his health, but today his health is good. When he was in preschool, we feared for his speech and cognitive abilities, but today he speaks well and has demonstrated impaired cognitive abilities but high enough to learn to read and offer hope. Middle school was a nightmare as aggressive behaviors made it necessary to remove him from our home. Today he is still in a group home but we have seen much improvement and can now take him out for outings. High school will start for him soon. I have so many fears, so many prayers, but I do believe and I have seen how "great is our God." I will pray and I will believe.

We have all been told that humans are not perfect. You would think that would mean we would accept all humans and their imperfections, because we are all human and we all make mistakes. But I guess that is it, we see imperfection as a mistake and mistakes have to be corrected thus the demons are born that rob us of a full life.
How do we defeat the demons, correct mistakes and accept imperfection? I don’t really have a good answer for that other than what we have been taught in church. Believe what you believe, God created you and God does not make junk, God sent his Son to save ALL of us and you are part of ALL of us, everything has purpose, and God has a plan for you. Ramblings to say, in my humble opinion at this moment, we defeat the demons by believing in God’s word and loving ourselves.
When I read Ephesians 1:3 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” (NIV) and put it in the context of fighting my demons, I think God has equipped me with spiritual blessings to fight my demons. As I read more of the chapter, I see that we are all created by God with a purpose. This section is a snapshot to remind us why we are here. God loves us and wants us and has a plan for us. This section reminds us that God knew our path before we ever set foot on it. He is not surprised by our demons. He knew our struggles and our failings before we were created, and He still created us. He still loves us, and He plans to save us. We just need to believe. Believe in the hope of Jesus Christ. Believe God has blessed each of us with spiritual blessings.

Blessings crown the head of the righteous, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.” Proverbs 10:6 (NIV)
I have never been a proponent for violence, but when you think about words cutting like a knife, I see the correlation between violence and mouth. I am guilty of using words to cut through someone to win an argument. I think all of us have at one point or another. I have been the victim of words as well and feel the haunting of those words.

I struggle with the fear of success. Sounds ridiculous, but as I grew up, I was punished for being excited about an award or good grade. I was teased for being a “goody two shoes.” I was taught success was pride and pride was bad, however I did have a saving grace. When my mother divorced my biological father, she turned to the church to try and piece things back together. I met Jesus at a young age. In middle school I decided I wanted to go into ministry. I was politely pulled aside and told women could not go into ministry. So even the church did not think much of me. But I did say I had a saving grace. Yes, Jesus was the center of my world, but I struggled being in this world.

As I reflect on this verse, I see that I have my own demons to work out. I want to claim that I am on the righteous side and deserving of blessings, but I feel I am of the wicked who allows violence to overwhelm my mouth. But as I said, Jesus is my saving grace. Jesus performed many miracles. We can debate how many and what constitutes a miracle, but we can all agree; Jesus performed many miracles. Many miracles involved saving and helping people including healing the blind, casting out demons, raising people from the dead and more. Before Jesus would heal, many times he would say something like, “By your faith, you are healed.,” or for the unbelievers he would say something like, “be healed, go forth and tell others.” At no time did he ask, “Are you righteous and deserving of healing?” He did not stop to define righteousness and ask for accountancy that demonstrated that the afflicted person was righteous and deserving of healing. I may not be perfectly righteous, but I am not perfectly wicked either. I do believe and by my faith I will be healed.

I claim the healing of Jesus Christ and accept the blessing given to the righteous. I am thankful for the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I am thankful for the blessings that are still to come.