annacedez

I love us 🧡

Since I’ve been photo dumping all day...here’s some more for y’all. I was feeling myself today tbh 😜💁‍♀️

This is me. No filters. No makeup. And nothing but my honesty. I’m actively trying to function on 3 days of no sleep.

Oh, and on top of everything I’m actively in the middle of a manic episode.

OH! And I almost forgot to mention! The addict/demon in me is craving the sweet, sweet taste of that magical little potion that takes aaaalllll the pain away.

Excuse my language but grief is a bitch. Like a bitch and a half, actually. Yeah, I said it!

I guess it could be PTSD too? Around this time last year is when it all started. My body shut down in a matter of months and by the time they figured out what the problem was my organs were not cooperating. Ohhhh, but my liver? My liver especially decided to give up on me. Yeah, you heard that right. From November of 2019 to April of 2020 my liver went from being fatty to completely failing. Then I almost died a couple times. I had a rollercoaster of events occur during my 72 day hospital stay WHILE the pandemic/apocalypse was occurring and then my family unfortunately had to experience the same thing again...but it was my mom this time. And this time? It was 93 days. And this time? She wasn’t able to walk out of the double doors like I did. You should’ve heard her? She was so adamant that she’d be runnin’ out that bitch haha.

Sadly, this didn’t happen but I like to think her soul flew out from there.🕊 And that gives MY soul comfort. 💖

I’ll admit that I can be a coward sometimes but that doesn’t mean I am one. I will make mistakes. I will fall. I will trip. I may even face plant but I will ALWAYS get back up. I will NEVER give up. As my Mom liked to shout, “Not up in here!”