Go Where You Grow Life

PARENT SHAME-Do you need to hear this today??

First off, this feels lengthy to someone who hasn’t been taught the higher level executive skills, so if this is triggering to watch for you, or you feel like this is an adult jumping through too many hoops for the child, that may be why you relate to it that way, perhaps you didn’t have parents modeling those skills for you growing up and that is why they feels like “so much work” for you now. If those skills seem like a waste of time or too much work…it’s ok, I get it…and I’ll remind you that you’re human and perfectly imperfect too 💕🙏🏼

There’s a lot of “unintentional” and ambiguous parenting shame that comes from the expectations that the “healing society” and the healing movement of today places on adults now a days.

Because we’re the adults we should have it all figured out and be perfect every time 🙌🏼 ! We should be calm, stay emotionally regulated, and at any given moment possess the ability to put our needs and wants to the side like a robot because damn it, we’re the adults! Am I right!?! 😅

In order for the healthy version of this to happen the adults have to be regulated first, and when we get triggered guess what!?! We become the toddler versions 🤣😂 of ourselves, this thrusts us into the power struggle, where we try to exert our dominance over the child because we have the autonomy and they do not.

I love how MrChazz doesn’t just explain what NOT to do, but he also gave examples of what healthier interactions CAN look like!! (His channel is a gold resource by the way)

But here’s my reminder for the parents, it’s ok not to be perfect, not to always nail this, not to always get it right, you’re healing ❤️‍🩹 , you’re unlearning generational disfunction, so give yourself grace as you learn to reparent your own inner child, and rest in the fact that for the times when you DO nail it 🎯 you are repairing the relationship by creating a safe space for your child, making room for connection and understanding (all while experiencing the pressures of being judged by small minds) at the same time (which is something you probably didn’t often get when you were a child) you are a champion 🏆a superhero🦸🏻‍♀️

So give yourself grace when you’re unlearning and you don’t quite nail it and find peace in the idea that when you do get it right, you are giving your children that gift 💝 from that change!

Who needed to hear this today?? What ways do you feel or have you experienced shame or guilt as a parent??