Subbing for Santa

s on our house that I promise you could see the glow off all of them from Harrison and she decorated the inside of the house so amazing with little towns that lit up and fake snow all over as well as Christmas Tree decorated so perfectly that only my momma could do and I remember opening each present that was for me and even some that wasn't Ooops :)... but I opened them so strategically you know the "how many rips does it take to get to the most amazing toy in the world that I know for a fact is in this overly taped box because I have been sneaking in to the living room every night for the past 2 weeks when everyone was sound asleep so I could shake every present under the tree with my name on it to get an idea of what I was getting and I can't wait to tell my friends about the new game I got for my Super Nintendo called........ Fruit of the Loom.. and you realize that you need to work on your shaking skills because you was way off on guessing what that present was. lol... Growing up I didn't have a lot of things because no matter how hard my parents worked we were still "poor" as they used to say but when it came to Christmas Time my momma did not care if she maxed out her credit cards all that mattered to her was that everyone had a present or 2 to open on Christmas and we always did. But as time has passed those amazing Christmas's faded away ... We all grew up and went in different directions and a lot of my elders have passed and went to heaven. But we always still had a small Christmas with just me, my son, my mom and dad, and maybe a couple other family members but nothing like when I was a kid but it was still something to look forward to at Christmas time up until about 4 years ago. I transferred with my job and moved 9 hours away to Tennessee which was my first time to face the real world all by myself but I was still planning on coming home for Christmas until I got a call from my mom that no kids ever wants to get and the call that set off a chain of events that would bring the walls of life down on me for the next 4 years. She told me that she was divorcing my dad after 40 years which was very hard for me because for the 29 years of my life I always had my parents together for Christmas and now that was all gone and I was transformed into the biggest Christmas hating Scrooge you can imagine in 2009 and then in Sept 2010 my dad had a massive stroke and that added even more reason to dislike the holidays and up until last year I filled the Texas size hole in my heart with vodka, whiskey, beer, wine and anything else that would take my mind off the fact that my family was never gonna have the Christmas's that I remembered ever again and I would never see my dad dressed up as Santa again that was all gone. And then last year something changed in me that I cannot explain because I don't know what it was but I quit drinking last summer but when Christmas came around the empty hole depression was starting to set in but instead of grabbing the bottle I was so accustomed to I started Subbing for Santa because I had promised myself that I was not gonna be a Scrooge any longer because I knew in my heart I loved Christmas and with every house I visited last year and with every smile I put on each kids face the Texas size hole in my own heart was patched up with happiness and when I was leaving the last house on my list last year I realized that NONE of those kids needed my help to have a Christmas that in fact it was those kids that had helped me have a Christmas for the first time in years and each and every one of them helped me see for the first time in my life WHAT CHRISTMAS TRULY MEANT TO ME and no matter what as long as I am alive and able I will continue Subbing for Santa from now on....... THE END. :) Merry Christmas.