Coaching with KC

One goal I have set for myself over the last couple years is to do at least one thing per month that scares me or pushes me out of my comfort zone.

This month, with some encouragement from my fiancé, I agreed to go snowboarding with her for her birthday. While I wasn’t entirely new to snowboarding (as it was a hobby of mine back in middle school and high school), this is something I hadn’t done for 12 YEARS. I couldn’t have even told you how to snowboard anymore. Not to mention, I am older, my bones are far more fragile, and I can’t bounce back like I used to. And maybe most importantly, my fiancé is an excellent snowboarder and I was intimidated.

Heading out to the slopes, I felt vulnerable and anxious, about to do something SO far out of my comfort zone. Afraid of looking like a fool. You see, doing anything that I am NOT good at makes me so uncomfortable. I hate the feeling of not knowing what I am supposed to be doing, having to ask for help, and have such a deep fear of NOT looking perfect while I do it. But if I have learned anything throughout my life, it is that often the space of discomfort is where we grow the most. And more than half the time, just past the discomfort is something so beautiful.

It took me a little while once we got to the slopes to embrace the adventure, but by the end of the day, I was having the time of my life and I never wanted the day to end. So here’s to doing more things that scare me this year and seeing what adventures lie ahead.

I was 27 years old when I learned that our Stress Response is supposed to be a CYCLE.

Just like any other cycle, our stress response cycle is intended to have a beginning, a middle and an end. The beginning is when we are presented with the stressor. Our body then naturally react to the stressor by putting us into fight, flight, or freeze mode. The middle of the cycle is when we chose how we are going to respond. The end of the cycle is when we affirm to our bodies that we are safe and that the danger is over.

For example, let’s talk about my dog and fireworks. Last year, it was early on 4th of July and we decided to talk Nico for a walk. It was initially peaceful, but about half a mile into our walk a firework went off. Nico instantly made every attempt to run back to the house. His stress response cycle was triggered by the firework and his body put him into flight. Due to my inability to keep up with his flight response and me encouraging him to continue walking at a normal speed, he froze. Eventually, I had to carry him the half a mile home. His stress cycle was able to be closed once he found his safe place inside the house and far away from the fireworks.

The reality is that MOST of us don’t actually know how to close the cycle. In fact, most of us are conditioned to do the exact opposite of closing the cycle when we are stressed. We avoid the stressor. Even in my example, I initially encouraged Nico to ignore the firework and continue on with our walk. Unlike humans who are more successful in doing that, Nico was unable to which eventually lead him to freeze. Most of us simply try to move on from the stressor. And while our rational mind is able to continue on with our day, our biological response is not. This can leave us in a perpetual state of stress. Which in turn leads to burnout.

Stay tuned for future posts exploring ways we you can close the stress cycle.