I remember as a child being told by an adult that only “bad” kids have ADHD. There was a strong negative connotation surrounding ADHD, or ADD, as it was called at the time, in my childhood. My parents were loving but stern, my father being a German immigrant. They expected me to do well in school, and I never considered that it was an option to get less than an A in any class. I loved to read. I w
ould hyperfocus on books with abandon. I often read 3-6 books at the same time, jumping between whichever plot picked my attention at the time. When one began to bore me, I just picked up another. Eventually wanting to know how the plot of the first book resolved drove me back to the first novel. I would rather read than pay attention in school. I did well in all of my classes through high school. I struggled to make friends throughout my schooling. I would have one or two close friends, and that was it. I usually preferred to just read and keep to myself. Remembering to do homework was a constant struggle for me. More than once, I would ask a friend in school if I could copy their homework, because I forgot. While this was enough for me to be able to pass classes in middle school and high school, it did not work for me in college. Growing up I had dreams of being an english teacher (I love books), patent lawyer, and then a music teacher. I went to Southern Methodist University (SMU) on a music scholarship for tenor trombone. After a single semester at SMU, I traveled to Brazil to do mission work for my church in Bahia for two years. When I came back, I transferred from SMU to Brigham Young University (BYU) where I studied mechanical engineering. I did not do well at BYU, graduating with only a 2.7 GPA. At times classes were boring, so I chose to skip them. That makes it hard to do well on tests. It was also hard for me to spend hours studying and to not procrastinate. I did not have the skills needed to do well in college, not because I wasn’t smart enough, but because I had no idea how my brain worked. I just tried to do it the way a neurotypical person would, and I failed miserably. In college, I visited the counseling center for depression, and they encouraged me to be tested for ADHD. I believed ADHD to have such a negative association that I asked to not be tested. At the time, I was scared of a diagnosis. How I wished that I had gotten help back then. Instead I went almost another 20 years without help. While in college, I met my best friend and the love of my life, Melissa, and somehow convinced her to marry me after only three weeks. Yes! 3 weeks! Talk about hyperactivity! Wow that was crazy, and Melissa and I have now been married for 20 years. That took luck, blessings, and super hard work. While I was a senior in college, Melissa had our first child, a daughter named Lindsey. I remember as Melissa was giving birth, the midwife said, “Daddy, catch the baby” three times with growing intensity. Finally after the third time, it caught my attention and dawned on me that I was daddy. I reached out and took my daughter for the first time into my arms. Amazing! What a life changing experience. We have two other wonderful children, our boys, Justin and Noah. Only Justin has ADHD like me, but the whole family is affected by ADHD. Everyone in the family learns how to live with my neurodivergent thinking and lifestyle. I remember meeting with my psychiatrist Nicole for depression and anxiety (unfortunately many of us with ADHD also struggle with depression and anxiety). She asked me what I thought was a random question. Have I ever been diagnosed with ADHD. I said no, and she asked me if she could give me a short test. I said yes, and soon she said that she believed that I had ADHD, and that she wanted me to start on a stimulant called Vyvanse. That doctor’s appointment with Nicole changed my life. Only three other events in my life have been more impactful.
1) Being baptized and committing to follow Jesus Christ
2) Marrying my wife, Melissa
3) The births of my wonderful three children, Lindsey, Justin, and Noah
4) ADHD medication and treatment.
