Your Story

Last month my sister and I took the most special trip together. It was my unconventional “bachelorette” party and it was the most refreshing, rewarding, and life giving celebration.

I really enjoy hiking so we picked Denver for our trip, found a place to stay and left the rest open ended. I was so appreciative that our time away allowed me to be me - early nights, lots of physical activity, and really really really good food. My sister gave me the space, time, and grace to be me and do exactly what I wanted in celebration. I don’t know that I’ve ever been on a trip where I wasn’t following an agenda or trying to cater to someone else’s needs - it was a true gift to be seen and cared for in this way.

I know at times what I wanted (lots of hiking) pushed my sister out of her comfort zone, but we made it through together and I accepted her boundaries and was able to get in a great solo hike on our final day!

I got lots of questions from people about why I was doing this for my bachelorette and comments like “are you even doing anything fun?”

All this reminds me that when you know yourself and make choices that meet your needs and not the expectations of others, people will question you. But, if you follow through with what you know is best for yourself it will lead to the most rewarding life experiences.

It’s taken me years to know what I want and need to be well. This trip is a manifestation of lots of reflection, lots of experimentation with different activities, and a paying attention to and getting curious about the things and people that bring me joy.

I have so much gratitude and feel so much warmth when I look at these pictures. I hope everyone has an opportunity in their life to experience alignment and fulfillment of your most authentic self!

🤍 you studio

Our definitions, beliefs, and values shape the way we experience the world and make meaning of it.

What is your current definition of success? What does it mean to be successful?

Simply redefining success could transform the way you approach your day to day life.

One alternate definition or perspective that I found valuable was: being a contribution instead of being a success.

The most commonly accepted definition of success includes the acquisition of wealth, fame, or respect/power. It’s the accomplishment of something, but that something in our society always seems to be self-serving. It also seems to be a peak, a place you arrive to, a status your earn when you have a certain amount of money or a fancy job title.

Taking the perspective of being a contribution, we shift the focus from ourselves to others. You start asking “how can I help and make a difference” instead of “what do I need to do to get myself that next promotion.”

Being a contribution is a daily practice, there is no summit to reach or title to attain, it’s a daily call to action.

With this new mindset, I’ve also found myself more willing to take risks. With success as my aim, I was so afraid to fail - it was a setback on my journey. Now, aiming for contribution, I see failure as a part of the process - it’s what allows me to learn, grow, and better serve myself and others.

Whether you redefine success or adopt a new aim for who you are trying to be in the world, I hope this helps!

The stories we tell ourselves are just that - stories - they’re all invented. And we have the ability to rewrite and reinvent them.

Our minds are designed to connect the dots and create a storyline, even when there is no connection. Our mind rationalizes, trying to piece together cause and effect, whether grounded in reality or not. All of these frameworks we create in our mind are based on unconscious assumptions so as we pull together a story it’s reflecting back to us beliefs we may not even know we hold.

What does all of this mean? Our mind is super powerful and has the ability to construct meaning in our lives.

Knowing this, we can use this powerful tool to help us invent a story and new framework that enhances the quality of our life and moves us towards our purpose.

Here’s a great example…

I keep delaying on taking the next steps to hold a local workshop. I tell myself that I’ll do it once I have my coaching certification complete, even though all of the content to facilitate is ready to go. I assume that people will think I’m unqualified without the certification and that no one will show up.

Going even deeper, I’m probably protecting myself out of fear of failure. I am assuming that no one cares about what I have to offer.

But I can change that narrative and offer myself a different framework that opens up new possibilities - I could tell myself that no one is ever fully ready, that I possess exactly what I need in this moment to make a contribution to my community, and that it’s all learning. I can choose to step into the discomfort and actually allow myself to do the thing I want to do in the world instead of creating narratives that hold me back and keep me safely waiting, preparing, and self-developing in my comfort zone.