Heather Branham, LCSW

A long time ago I read a piece of relationship advice that’s stuck with me. It’s been so long that I don’t remember where I read it or who said it, but it went something like this: one of the best things you can do for your relationship is to always tell your partner how you’re changing.

I love this advice because at its heart is a transformative truth: change is a part of life and so change is a part of every relationship. Change and partnership go hand in hand.

Change is a necessary and essential part of the human experience. When we’ve stopped changing, we’ve stopped growing.

And change can be scary, no matter who you are or what changes are happening.

In relationships change can be scary because we can come to rely on our partners for our sense of security and when they change, that can cause us to feel insecure.

When your partner represents security and then they change, the insecurity you feel can cause you to question what else might change.

If you’re feeling scared or insecure in other aspects of your life, hearing about a change in your partner can feel overwhelming.

If you and your partner are communicating regularly about the changes you’re feeling inside of you, those changes might feel less scary than if you don’t communicate about how you're growing and changing along the way.

Sharing about the changes we’re feeling inside takes self-awareness, trust and the courage to be vulnerable.

My free on-demand webinar on How To Support Your Trans, Non-Binary or Gender-Questioning Partner will be available for one week starting next Monday the 20th. 

My intention is to offer guidance around a specific type of change you might be experiencing in your relationship: change related to gender. You may or may not be surprised to hear that navigating change around gender doesn't have to be all that different from navigating other changes that come up in our relationship.

If you're looking for support around this type of change in your relationship, I hope you'll click the link in my bio to sign up for next week's free on-demand webinar.

I’m grateful for the clarity of Bree Newsome Bass’ voice in this moment.

with
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The system isn’t broken. The foundation of this country is rooted in violent white patriarchal supremacy. The whole damn system is guilty as hell and only a total reimagining of a kind, equitable, just, care centered future will serve. Call it abolition. Call it defunding. Call it a world without racist state violence. You can call it whatever you want, but the system, as is, cannot and should not hold. It cannot be reformed. It is functioning as it was intended to.

’s life was stolen from him, from his family, his son, his girlfriend, his mother, those who loved him. May his memory be a blessing.

Go read “We Do This ‘Til We Free Us” by Mariame Kaba.

Lots of resources in stories.

*as I write this there is news of yet another school shooting in Knoxville. This is, and has always been, America.

Thank you for your wisdom and heart.