Wayfinders Executive Coaching

Don't shoot the messenger . . . but soooo many attorneys are trauma bonded to stress 😬

I saw a version of this years ago when I was a foster parent.

Children who grow up in chaos will recreate chaos… because it’s what feels normal. It’s what feels safe.

Calm doesn’t register as safety.
It registers as dangerously unfamiliar.

So they unconsciously create the conditions they know how to navigate.

And I see this pattern in the legal profession all the time. Stay with me here...

Lawyers trained in high-stakes, high-pressure environments begin to associate stress with success. Urgency with importance. Exhaustion with value.

So when things slow down…

They don’t feel ease.
They feel anxiety.

They start to spiral:
Am I doing enough?
Am I falling behind?
Is something wrong?

And often, without realizing it, they recreate the very pressure they say they want to escape.

Not because they’re broken.
Because it’s familiar. Because it feels safe.

But here’s the truth:

You can be successful and get your hair done on a Thursday.
You can be effective without working until 11pm.
You can build a thriving career that includes both bet-the-company trials and picking your kids up at 3:30pm.

If you feel unsettled in a moment of calm, it doesn’t mean something is wrong.

It may mean your nervous system is learning a new way of being.

And that takes practice.

So the next time things slow down…

Don’t rush to fill the space.

Stay there.

You might discover that stillness is not the absence of success.

It’s evidence of it.