day, I vowed that I would always make her my Valentine date and make sure she had a good day. As the idea developed I decided that I wanted to use this as a way to build her self-esteem. I want her to know that her worth is not based off of the attentions of some boy on this holiday, the way society seems to promote. I knew I wanted to make sure she was aware that her family would always be there and that her friendships were more important than being boy crazy. Her father and I hope that by keeping this tradition she will grow into that knowledge and understanding and have a higher self-esteem.
Miss B's Plan: In 2016 "Mommy's Plan" got an upgrade. As per tradition when Valentine's Day was nearing I asked her where she would like to go for our date. She informed me that since you are supposed to give people Valentine cards on Valentine's Day, that's just what she wanted to do. She just wanted to walk around and give people Valentine cards. She was also adamant about running to see some of our family to drop cards off with them as well. So when we were out picking up cards for her to distribute to her class - which just HAD to be the cards with the shark tattoos in them - we grabbed a few extra boxes for her to hand out to family, friends AND strangers. While she was pretending to read the back of the box of cards, I noticed a tiny metal mailbox meant for a child to bring to school to collect their cards in. I had an internal monologue in which I mocked how much the holiday had developed since my Valentine's Days in elementary school with a tissue box mailbox. But it was in my hand and it had a cartoon dinosaur on it and when B was done "reading" her eyes shifted to the mailbox and her face lit up. So of course, I bought it. She was so proud of her goodies and couldn't wait to get home and label her cards. When the cards were all labeled "To: my friend" "From: Miss B" She tried to shove them all in the mailbox like it was going to send them out to everyone right there and then. "Light bulb!" Mommy had an idea. I thought, how cool would it be for her to wake up on Valentine's Day morning to a mailbox full of cards like they had magically appeared. This is the concept with Santa at Christmas, and "The Bun" (as B calls him) at Easter. So why not have this at Valentine's Day? So on a mission I went, contacting our friends and family to send her a card in the mail to contribute. My only request was to limit candy, and instead send a picture of themselves so she could associate the card to who sent it. Considering she was 4, I figured this was smarter than trying to explain who each extended family member was. The response was overwhelming. I quickly realized there was no way almost any of these cards were going to fit into her tiny mailbox. So, I of course did the rational thing and went to Home Depot and Michael's and purchased a full sized metal mailbox, paint, and finishing spray. With two days left before Valentine's Day we made a night of it and decorated this mailbox together. She was ecstatic when I told her she could put the paint all over her hands. The finished product was a sleek white box with tiny pink and purple hand prints all over it. She was so proud of that box and I was so proud of her. Valentine's Day this particular year happened to land on a Sunday. So we decided that after church we would go up the road to the mall and have a fancy meal at The Cheesecake Factory and she could walk through the hoards of people to hand out her cards. At some point in this I was inspired by 1 John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us." and this was the lesson I wanted to teach my girl. We talked about how when we love on others we are showing them God's love and how that is what Jesus did. She awoke Valentine's Day morning to a ridiculous spread of cards and stickers and tiny stuffed animals and pictures pouring out of her mailbox. She sat and smiled as she went through each Valentine not saying a single word. I just watched her giddy expressions. We dropped off cards on our way to church and enjoyed our service. Once we got our spiritual fill up, we headed to the mall. We got our buzzer from The Cheesecake Factory and walked the mall while we waited. B took some people by surprise in the food court and they tried to thank her through their chews. She startled a father in the Disney store who I don't think spoke English, but nodded at her in thanks. Then we went into Godiva, (This is my favorite part) and ordered our free monthly chocolate (which we get because we are girls who love our chocolate way too much and so we have a membership). I wasn't even thinking about how crazy it would be in this tiny store, but it seemed like the whole mall was trying to cramp into our quiet chocolate retreat. This didn't phase B. She had a purpose. Surprisingly, it was not the pursuit of a sugar rush. It was the pursuit of a person. She was in her zone and did not even seem to hear me when I asked what she wanted from the case. No, she was in pursuit of the perfect person to give a card to. Her little mouth was crooked to the side and she had one eyebrow down. All of a sudden she looked at me, smiled and let go of my hand to walk about three feet in front of me. She tapped the manager of the store on her side. This woman was undoubtedly dealing with all kinds of craziness this day, and I almost stopped B from bothering her. But I didn't. When this woman realized what B was doing she got down on her level and hugged her and thanked her and told her that if she had not brought her that Valentine, she might not have gotten one. She followed it up with an extra free piece of chocolate (which we definitely did not need, but B was definitely grateful for) and the sweetest smiles. B was so pumped about how this lady reacted that she seemed to float on her way out of the door handing out as many cards as she could. We walked towards the restaurant and only waited for a few more minutes before our buzzer went off. The hostess shuffled us to our booth as the staff hustled through the sea of hungry people. B tried to give the hostess a card, but she was moving too quick to notice her. She tried to stop a waiter who was on his way to the kitchen, but he didn't notice her either. I could tell she was starting to feel deflated. I told her not to worry, that our server would be to our table soon and she could give a card to her. The waitress came and got our drink orders with out ever even looking at us. It was so busy, I'm sure this girl was out of breath from all the running around she was doing. B tried to give her the card and she was gone before she could even get a word out about it. When the waitress returned for our orders I watched B to see if she was going to try again. Once I was done ordering B started to speak up and tried to get the lady's attention with the card, but she spun on her heels again before she even noticed, to which I choked up a half plea, half angry cry "Wait!" The girl reversed quickly and I pointed to my patient half pint and told her she had something for her. B handed her the card and smiled sheepishly. The girl smiled and went on her way. I was kind of aggravated that the waitress didn't even bother to say thank you, but I talked it up to B so she wouldn't be discouraged. Once our food was out and we were about half way through the waitress returned. I'm not sure if she was on her break, or was just deliberately taking the time to stop, but she came back to us with a single white rose just for B and sat down next to her and thanked her for her sweet card and talked to my kid and asked questions about what she was doing. My tiny tot sounded like a big girl telling her all about how she just wanted to love on others like Jesus. (Cue the mom tears) At the end of it all, I asked B what she thought of her day. She told me it was the best Valentine's Day ever. She told me about how her favorite parts were when people thanked her. Thinking she meant what they gave her in return I told her we weren't doing it to get things out of it. She stopped me and told me she knew, but she was just happy because she made someone else happy. She gave her chocolate to her Daddy and wanted the flower to be on the table to share. This is why I agree, that was the best Valentine's Day ever.
This is our story, it is not exaggerated, and this is why I will always encourage these traditions. Our church believes that "One Matters". One person, one prayer or one selfless act. So we believe #OneValentineMatters.
