Findthemagic

Martial Artist, Bohdi Sanders' quote, "When you react, you let others control you. When you respond, you are in control," offers powerful insight into how we handle challenges in life. At first glance, reacting and responding might seem similar, but there’s a crucial difference.
Here is an example from an experience I had as a sophomore at UCLA. As part of my Humanities curriculum, I was determined to learn about as many cultures as I could, as long as the professor teaching the course was of that heritage. I took over a dozen such classes, and the one that left the greatest impression on me was entitled, “African American Studies.”
I was eighteen years old and ready to conquer racial issues one culture at a time. Give me a break, I was just a kid with big dreams. I walked into the room eager and open to learn. I sat in the front of the class which was my habit; you see, I always wanted to make direct contact with each professor, looking for some magnetic vibration that would indubitably reach me. I noticed almost immediately that everyone in the room was staring at me. I smiled at them, eagerly trying to demonstrate my joy in being there. I felt the presence of someone so close to me, I could feel his breath. I refrained from jumping out of my seat and said, “Good Morning, Professor Andrews.” In return, I received a cold stare.
Professor Andrews finally spoke: “What are you doing here?”
“I signed up for your class,” I said with a lot of confidence and positivity.
“Don’t you notice anything strange about that?” he queried.
I scanned the room and noticed I was the only Caucasian present. I didn’t know what to say so I kept quiet.
“Why do you want to take this class?”
I told him about my hopes of learning something about many different cultures.
He looked confused. He finally said, “You can stay. I can’t stop you. I will tell you this: there is no way you can get an “A” in this class, because you can’t ever step into our shoes and understand what it is like to be black.”
My heart started racing. I felt tears forming in my heart and racing up to my eyes. I held my ground. I finally responded: “Dr. Andrews, I know I can’t ever walk in anyone else’s shoes. I can only truly know my own self. And sometimes I have trouble with that. I trust that you will be fair with my evaluation. I am here to learn; not to earn a grade.”
I never worked as hard as I did in that course. And I did learn…I felt like an ignorant child grasping every word, every emotion, every thought that I could retain in my brain. I learned from the professor and from my peers. Often, I responded at the very moment I was fighting my reactions. I refrained from reacting and continued responding. And, I did get an A in that course. That grade meant more to me because of what it represented than it ever could as an extrinsic reward: Professor Andrews evaluated me on my contribution to the course and my insights; rather than on the color of my skin.

More Gratitude in My Heart: Cherished Moments on Our 7-Day Venice Cruise
I recently shared my story about being rescued by strangers in Venice. Today, I want to open my heart and express my deep love and gratitude for the beautiful souls in our global community who go out of their way to spread happiness, health, and wealth to everyone they meet. I am incredibly blessed to be one of the recipients of their boundless love.
Our 7-day Mediterranean cruise was not just a journey across stunning seas but also a journey of learning, connection, and profound friendship. It was a time to reconnect with the wonderful friends I've made through our shared commitment to Personal Development and service to others. The word "friend" holds a special place in my heart. Throughout my life, I’ve been fortunate to know many amazing people who have brought joy and success into my life. But true friendship, to me, is something more—it’s about those angels who share in our victories, big or small, and are there to support us when we need it most. They know, as I do, that our bond is a two-way street, filled with mutual celebration and unwavering support.
On this cruise, I was surrounded by love, admiration, and the kind of caring that makes life so special. These friends—these angels—ensured that my journey was memorable, and they succeeded beyond measure. There are so many people who wear the title of “Friend” in my life, and it’s hard to know where to begin in expressing my gratitude. But I’ll do my best to honor a few of the many who have touched my heart.
The first people I met from our community as we prepared to board the ship were Michael and Karin. I’ve seen them many times on our Zoom calls, but this time, I had the pleasure of speaking with them in person. We found our way to the transport buses together (I’m not great with maps!), and in that moment, we shared a reciprocated love that warmed my heart.
Then there’s my beloved Lorna. She brought me into this incredible business—the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, a gift that has changed my life. Lorna and I have met in person before, but each time we’re together, our bond grows even stronger. She spent so much time on the cruise checking in on me, and I love her for that. Through Lorna, I’ve also had the joy of knowing her wonderful husband, Keiran. They both exude love and gratitude with every word and smile.
I’d also like to express my deep gratitude to Peggy and Paul. On this cruise, I got to know them better and meet their darling daughter, Holly. She’s growing up in our world of leadership development and success education, and it shows! Holly is not your typical kid—she’s self-confident, makes great decisions, and isn’t afraid to stand up in front of hundreds of adults, whether to sing karaoke or join a group activity to spread kindness to the lovely people of Montenegro.
Speaking of Montenegro, it was so hot that my sandals literally melted! We were walking around, helping the residents of the city, but the heat was taking its toll on this seventy-four-year-old young woman. The group I was with noticed my distress. Without a word, Lorna stepped forward and said, “It’s time for you to return to the ship.” I was disappointed in myself but knew she was right. Then, another miracle arrived in the form of two angels, Brian and Robin. Not only did they find a water taxi for me, but they also left their own adventure in Montenegro to accompany me back to the ship. Who does that? True friends—grateful individuals who put others before themselves.
James and Bex, as well as Eileen and Mark, hold special places in my heart. I don’t think they realize how much I admire and adore them. The words they speak are always spellbinding and supportive. I am forever indebted to the love they give me every time we come together.
So many others played a part in making this journey unforgettable—whether by healing a giant blister on my foot, inviting me to breakfast or lunch aboard the ship, or escorting me to the Marco Polo Venice airport for my trip home. My gratitude goes out to Vic, Elizabeth, Sandra, Dylan, Lisa, Eva, Karen, Lise, and so many more. If I forgot to acknowledge you, please forgive me.
Lastly, but certainly not least, I want to express my deep gratitude to our company leaders: Shane, Rach, Leia, and Greg. Leia spent hours with me along with Holly, writing a script that displayed the story of gratitude we experienced in Montenegro. She is also the beautiful daughter of Shane and Rach. Here is another young teen who knows how to lead and exudes self-confidence. They provided us with powerful workshops on self-improvement—a lifelong journey—and showered us with gifts as a token of their appreciation for those of us who attended this epic event. The cruise may be in the past, but my love for all these incredible individuals will endure forever.

How I Learned To Accept My Students By Their Actions
As a young teacher, I once had two boys in my classroom who were there under court order for robbery. They could attend school every day without disciplinary actions or go to jail. They chose school and ultimately followed different paths in life.
Paul knew he was innocent. Mistaken for his brother by the police, he pled guilty to protect his twin, who never came forward to clear his name. Morris was guilty but insisted he was innocent, arguing that his poor family had thrown him out on the streets at ten, forcing him to steal to survive. He saw himself as a modern-day Robin Hood, though he never shared his loot with anyone in need.
Paul, scarred by his experiences in jail before being placed in my classroom, kept blaming his failures on the past. He never moved past those memories and eventually committed other crimes, landing him in jail for at least fifteen years. Morris, on the other hand, was eager to escape his cycle of poverty, hunger, and crime. I worked with him for the year he was in my class, and he later sought help from a counselor. He delved deeply into personal development, turned his life around, had his juvenile record expunged, went to college to become a psychologist, and graduated.
The only difference between the two boys was how they thought about things.
This brings to mind The Shawshank Redemption (1994), a film that profoundly explores personal development through the story of Andy Dufresne, a man wrongfully imprisoned who transforms his life through resilience, hope, and integrity. He was a banker wrongly imprisoned for the murder of his wife and her lover; yet, he finds his journey of resilience, hope, and personal growth within the confines of Shawshank State Penitentiary.
Andy Dufresne's unwavering resilience is a cornerstone of his personal development. Despite facing a harsh and unjust environment, Andy maintains his integrity and dignity. His ability to persevere through brutal conditions, corrupt prison officials, and personal tragedies showcases his inner strength and determination.
One of the film’s central themes is the power of hope. Andy's belief in a better future sustains him throughout his imprisonment. He famously tells his friend Red, "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." Andy's hope not only keeps him mentally and emotionally strong but also inspires those around him, demonstrating how maintaining a positive outlook can lead to personal growth.
Andy's resourcefulness is another critical aspect of his personal development. He uses his skills and intelligence to improve his situation and those of his fellow inmates. From creating a prison library to helping the warden with financial schemes, Andy’s ingenuity allows him to navigate the prison system and gain a sense of purpose and control over his life.
Throughout the film, Andy remains true to his moral compass, even when it would be easier to compromise his values. His integrity in the face of corruption and moral decay in the prison system highlights the importance of staying true to one’s principles as a foundation for personal development. Andy’s meticulous planning over nearly two decades to escape from Shawshank demonstrates his vision and long-term thinking. His ability to set goals and work steadily towards them, despite numerous obstacles, underscores the importance of patience and strategic planning in achieving personal growth and freedom.
The Shawshank Redemption is a powerful narrative of personal development, illustrating how resilience, hope, resourcefulness, and integrity can transform an individual even in the most adverse conditions. Andy Dufresne’s journey from a wrongfully convicted prisoner to a free man living his dream is a testament to the human spirit's capacity for growth and transformation.