Untamed Awe

Here's one for those that led the way ❤

Then Came Mary Though a good-sized house, the family room was remarkably small.

Some days you just have to play💜

Bad Art “What did you do today?” he asked as he emptied his pockets and kicked off his shoes, settling in to being home.

Razor thin nails slice her forearm, drops of blood first warm then icy.
Damn, she thinks. Why didn’t I just hold him down and cut them?
Thwack.
His small, shaven head flings back full force against her already-tender collarbone.
Damn, again, she thinks, arms aching from holding him through the tantrum, muscles as strung out and flimsy as overcooked noodles.
As exhausted and diminished as she feels, he just keeps going. The screams, the head butting, the legs that flail wildly when they slip loose from the crazy safety hold the therapist had shown her.
Damn again, again.
Is it right? Is it right to hold this little boy as he rages against a world he doesn’t know? Doesn’t understand?
Hold him, they said. Let him know he’s safe, he’s not alone.
But does it make him feel safe or captive? He’s already been captive for the first two years of life. He has the scars and fractures and vacant eyes to prove it.
He will calm, they said. And when he does it will turn into a safe place for him.
I don’t know how much more of this I can take, she thinks, her tears in perfect harmony with his ear-piercing shrieks.
The words gush through her brain like a busted faucet: exhausted, stupid, unprepared, naïve.
Why? Why did I think I could do this? Take a little boy broken and bruised and petrified, hostile to human touch, almost feral with fear?
What can I possibly offer him, me, a single woman, an effing account manager with no experience with even happy children, let alone one like this?
She sinks deeper into her own despair, muscles weakening from utter exhaustion and force, and feels a shift. Her muscles tell her it is time to give up, to stop fighting, to release. And maybe not just from the tantrum, maybe from all of it. She has nothing left to give this little boy. She loosens her hold, posture collapsing with a sense of defeated despair.
And as she softens, so does he, so slightly she thinks she imagines it, willing it into existence. But slowly, quietly, his battle-weary body turns to mush.
This time the tiny shaven head doesn’t slam against her bruised clavicle, it rests against it ever so gently. He almost nestles into her chest as the whole-body safety hold shifts into a whole-body safety hug.
Their breathing slows, eventually syncing up.
And, for the first time since they’d brought him to her, battered and shattered at 3:18 a.m. on a Monday morning, he turns and looks at her. In the eyes.
She hadn’t even known his eyes were blue.
This time, facing her, he lays his cheek upon hers. He cries, but the cry is different, no longer inflamed and enraged. It is a whimper, slower, calmer, almost meditative.
He sniffles then closes his eyes. He sleeps.
And she knows.
She knows she’ll figure it out.
She knows it will happen again. And again. And likely a hundred other agains. Maybe the agains will never even end.
She knows she’ll get pummeled and bitten and pinched.
But mostly she knows she can do it, she will do it because she loves him and she is his.
___________________________________________________________—
Each year approximately 530,000 children nation-wide suffer from abuse or neglect, with an estimated 18,000 of those being children succumbing to fatalities. Abuse and neglect are not confined to specific neighborhoods or economic situations. These children often hide in plain sight. Yes, you walk by them every day. And they belong to all of us.
There are ways to help:
Find local support organizations with a focus on poverty and substance abuse, two of the most common gateways to abuse and neglect of children.
Consider fostering a child in need, or identify ways to support families who have made that noble choice. Contact The National Foster Care Association
https://nfpaonline.org
Become a CASA/GAL, a nation-wide volunteer-based program pairing caring adults with children going through the foster care system. Each state has a program and is in need of adults who want to make a difference in a child’s life. Children with a Court Appointed Special Advocate are less likely to re-enter foster care, have fewer placement changes, are more likely to get needed services and are more likely to graduate from high school.
https://nationalcasagal.org
Finally, consider sharing, posting, restacking this post in an attempt to raise awareness and spark others into action.
Thank you.

National CASA/GAL Association for Children - Change a Child's Story™ National CASA/GAL, together with state and local member programs, supports and promotes court-appointed volunteer advocacy, so every child who has experienced abuse or neglect can be safe, have a permanent home, and the opportunity to thrive.

This one may be a bit uncomfortable, but that's the point. 💔Please read and share.

Hold April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Find ways you can become involved at the end of the post.

New Item drop! PM for details♥️

💜