FemFwd

There’s less pressure around how to get it right when we know what components should be included and what should be avoided.

💙Keep the focus on the other person, even if you are peripherally related to the deceased.
💜Remember, you can’t make their pain go away. That’s not the point.
♥️Get clear about the goal. The goal is to validate their pain and offer support for what they are going through.
♥️This is not an appropriate time to offer support that is aimed at transmitting your beliefs about what happens after death. For example, “He’s in a better place now” suggests that there is shared belief that there is an afterlife. If you don’t know for sure that they share this belief, don’t put your beliefs on them. That kind of misaligned support can come off as dismissive.
💜The intensity/level of support offered should match what you know about their relationship to the deceased. If you don’t know much about that relationship then don’t make assumptions just because of how they are connected (for example, don’t assume that the parent-child relationship was strong).
💙Don’t blame the deceased. This sounds obvious, but happens all the time. People say things like, “He’d been drinking a long time. His body was bound to break down.” If that comes out of the mouth of the person you are supporting, that’s OK. That’s their experience and their mourning, but it’s insensitive to put that on them.
💜If they died by su***de, don’t make comments that are judgmental. You are allowed to have your own thoughts and feelings about su***de, but it’s important you don’t put those on the person you are trying to support.
Specific phrases to avoid:
👉🏽”She’s in a better place now.”
👉🏽”You’re young. You have a chance to start over again.”
👉🏽”He’s been sick a long time. It was time.”
👉🏽”He had a long life.”
👉🏽”They’ve been gone a long time. It’s time to move on.”
👉🏽”I know how you feel.”

Parenting and raising teens brings its own set of challenges. Want some tips to help you navigate these years. Check out the full article my top tips from a teen therapist with practical examples @ www.femfwd.com.





















goals

Professionally, I listen to teenagers for a living. Many parents struggle with knowing how to help their teenager and worry about their teens mental health, social media, picking the wrong friend group, getting into drugs or alcohol, sneaking out, etc. Check out the full article my top tips from a teen therapist with practical examples.






















goals

About 25,000 people have searched this exact phrase per month in Google. Do you want to understand the reasons behind why you yell or raise you voice? Are you overwhelmed? Do you have unmet needs?
*Keep in mind, that yelling can also be a sign of abuse. Read this article for more insights!

Touched out is a term thats meant to describe feeling overwhelmed by being physically needed constantly by kids, your partner, and even the family pets. Of course, this is not an all inclusive list, but it is a great start!

✅Carve out times when your body is just yours. This is about creating space for bodily autonomy.
✅Ask for help and accept help
Alone time on a regular basis and not just when you are at your breaking point. This is a preventative method and I encourage you not to underestimate the value of prevention, as taking breaks will increase your frustration tolerance and expand your window of tolerance for meeting the needs others.
✅Spread the load- If you are partnered, ask and expect them to help. Set the bar as early as possible that they need to participate in the emotional, mental, and physical load that contributes to this feeling of too many people needing you all the time.
✅Nourish your body for you- Do things specifically for your body that are only for you, such as physical exercise, getting a massage, taking a bubble bath, stretching, etc. ✅Set boundaries- Set boundaries with your children, your partner, the household pets, etc. This boundaries can be specifically about your physical space and some boundaries can get out this underlying need overload you are experiencing.
💯For example, a physical boundary might sound like “Mama’s body needs a break right now so you can’t sit on my lap. I am happy to play legos with you and have you sit right next to me.”

Want to improve your relationships? Get better sleep 😴 Quality sleep means better emotion regulation and better capacity to handle our loved ones big feeling. Good sleep is about listening to your natural rhythm and having good sleep hygiene. Click link in bio to head to our website and check out our newest article.