Ajebo Writer

I asked my husband to help me shave because I’m heavily pregnant and could barely reach, and becauseof that, I’m itchy and miserable

Next thing he went and put on a nose mask, gloves, and dark shades… dressed up like I have Ebola

I felt so insulted and embarrassed and he said I’m taking things too far that it’s not that deep.

This is the same man who, before I got pregnant, would eat and suck me down there like a thirsty dog. Now, because I’m pregnant and needs his help to shave, he’s treating me like an infection.

What’s more upsetting is that I know if the situation were reversed I would help him in a heartbeat no questions asked

Well, since my husband finds my puci disgusting to shave, I’ll punish him by letting the handsome bachelor next door do it.

Yes, I’ve seen the way he looks at me even in my condition, so I’m sure he won’t need protective gear to help me down there.

The End

Ajebo Writer

©️AjeboWriter Kingdavid

Since I was born, I had never seen so much bl00d spilled like I saw two nights after my wedding to the love of my life, my husband and bestie.

Before we got married, we were best friends.

We did everything together.

From watching the same movies, loving the same music, and even supporting the same football club.

Chelsea, of course.

In fact, at some point, people actually thought we were twins, not even a couple, because of how close we were.

We wore matching clothes, loved the same musical artistes, and even played games together.

From board games to video games, our love was inseparable and very unconditional.

I loved this quiet, gentle, and smart young man who found my drama arousing and never complained about how competitive I was.

Until two days after our wedding.

I had never seen this side of him before.

The aggression, violence, and lack of empathy.

I have always heard that marriage changed people, but I never thought I would ever experience such.

I watched my husband, and his face was different. He wasn’t smiling; he was not even looking at me as he brutal!zed me.

I had never seen so much bl00d spilled before.

He flung me like I weighed feathers, held my neck, and landed a blow right on my face.

Before I had a chance to recover from the bl0w, a ki

There was this colleague who just joined our company. Since she was new, I decided to help her settle in. Partly because I wanted her to feel comfortable, and partly because when I first joined, nobody really helped me, so I knew exactly how that felt.

After a few months, we became very close. She had my kind of humor, so we laughed a lot, joked around, gossiped about colleagues, and even complained about our bosses together.

It didn’t take long for feelings to start developing.

I began liking her more and more. The more I got to know her, the more I realized we had a lot in common. We were both single, and things seemed to be heading somewhere.

One day, I asked if she’d like for us to hang out outside work.

“Of course,” she replied. “I’d love that.”

I smiled.

“Okay. I’ll find time.”

The following weekend, she messaged me.

She said she’d never been to Lekki Conservation Centre and wanted to visit. She also wanted to go to the beach afterward.

Omo, I was happy eh, so I immediately agreed.

That day, I ordered a ride. The fare was almost the price of a GIG trip from Lagos to Abuja, but I didn’t care. Love is blind!

I got to her place, picked her up, and we headed to the conservation centre.

We had fun, took pictures, laughed, and enjoyed the experience. Afterward, I ordered another ride to a beach in Victoria Island.

I paid for the tickets, bought food and drinks, and we settled in.

A few minutes later, she received a phone call.

When she ended it, she turned to me.

“Please, one of my friends wants to join us.”

I said, “Okay, it’s fine. She’s free. The more, the merrier.”

Then she asked if I could also pay the friend’s gate fee.

I hesitated briefly but agreed.

We walked to the gate.

That’s when I discovered the friend was a guy.

I was confused but kept quiet. I paid, and he joined us. Almost immediately, he started drinking from my drink like we were guys and eating my food shamelessly. Before long, the two of them were spending more time together than she was spending with me.

At some point, I found myself alone while they strolled hand-in-hand along the beach, kicking sand, laughing, and playing near the water.

An hour later, I decided to talk to her, so I pulled her aside and tried to hold her hand.

The way she snatched her hand away, you’d think I had Ebola. Then she quickly looked around to see whether the guy had noticed.

I was more confused than she looked. Then she smiled nervously and said, “Kings… um… why are you holding my hand?”

I laughed awkwardly. “Because I missed you. I just wanted us to spend some time together.”

She said, “Miss me ke? Wait, do you think that we’re on a date? Because I’m sorry, but we’re just colleagues. I don’t want my friend to have the wrong idea.”

Omo… I was stunned.

I didn’t say anything. I just apologized for my confusion and allowed her to go back to her friend.

Later, she came again and said she wanted to ride a horse. I said she was free to do whatever she wanted.

She went and climbed the horse happily. Moments later, the guy climbed onto the horse behind her, and the two of them rode away while the trainer guided them.

When they returned, she jumped down, ran towards me, and asked me to pay.

I said, “Pay for what?”

She said the horse ride wasn’t free, and I told her I knew, but why was she telling me?

She acted confused and asked why I was talking like that. But she told me she wanted to ride a horse.

I said, “Yes, you told me. So what?”

She said she didn’t bring any money because why would she? After all, I asked her out.

I told her I didn’t ask her out; she did. So she should have brought money. After all, I’d been paying for everything since.

She laughed a sarcastic laugh, like I must be joking.

The guy smiled nervously and said it was fine, he’d pay. He went out, made some calls, and after about 30 minutes, he finally managed to pay.

After he paid, my ride that I had ordered arrived, and I got up to leave. She looked shocked and asked where I was going.

I said, “Home.”

She said, “But I didn’t even tell her we’re leaving.”

I said, “We are not leaving. I’m leaving. You can stay with your friend.”

It was then she told me that she and the guy were just meeting for the first time. They had actually met online, and this was their first physical meeting. She asked me to wait a little so we could go back together because the guy lived on the Island.

I refused and said she could stay with her date and leave whenever she was ready, but I was leaving right then.

Then she said okay, I should send her transport fare because she didn’t come with any money.

At that point, I didn’t reply. I just entered the car and left.

She sent me some very insulting messages and called me broke and stingy. So I calculated how much we spent, from the ride to Lekki and the beach, to the food, drinks, and tickets, including her date’s own. Then I split it in half and sent my account number.

To my surprise and excitement, she sent the money later that night and blocked me.

Good riddance.

Now she’s telling everybody at work that because I asked her out and she refused, I told her to pay all the money I spent on the date I took her on, and she’s forwarding my chats and her receipts to them.

Now everybody is calling me stingy and wicked, but I don’t care.

I’m just happy that at least I recovered half of my money, and walked away with my self-respect intact.

That’s all that matters to me!

The End

Ajebo Writer

©️ AjeboWriter Kingdavid

Stop going out with women who would never go home with you.

I met one guy at my neighbor’s house who had a very strange dating strategy. According to him, before any first date even starts, and before anybody orders food, he asks the woman one simple question:

“So after this date, are we going to fvck?”

He said about 70–80% would act shocked, get offended, insult him and leave immediately while some would stay back looking disgusted and not leave.

But according to him, that’s where the date ends because if nothing is happening after eating, he’s not spending money buying a stranger lunch or dinner

Then the 20-30% that usually say yes, once they do, he relaxes and pays for the date happily.

Omo, I was shocked at the level of audacity and insanity!

And it’s not like the guy was some billionaire or maybe very handsome. Just some very average guy both in looks and even money.

So, I asked if it was just the unattractive women that said yes…

This guys swore that both unattractive, average & even attractive ones o.

Everybody was represented in that 20–30%.

In fact, according to him, some of the most beautiful women were actually more likely to appreciate the honesty and say yes, because at least he wasn’t pretending to be looking for soul mate or wife like many men do on a first date.

He said this strategy had saved him so much money over the years.

I won’t lie, I was impressed. So, I decided to copy it too because the money I’ve spent taking Nigerian girls on dates is enough to open my own KFC or Item 7 franchise in Lekki

My neighbor was still arguing that the guy was lying.

That’s when he brought out his phone and started showing us pictures of the beautiful ones that said yes to his request… omo see baddies, premium chics, IG and TikTok baddies o not Facebook!

We were scrolling in complete silence.

Then he started showing us the other category too. The unattractive ones that also said yes…

We got to number five... and it was my girlfriend.

The End

Ajebo Writer

©️AjeboWriter Kingdavid

I took myself out to chill and unwind in one popular fancy restaurant in my area

I was almost done eating when I noticed her.

She was seated across the restaurant, alone.

Light-skinned, effortlessly beautiful, with long lashes that made her eyes look like cats own, and a classy black dress that fit her perfectly. Everything about her looked polished, from the way she carried herself to the confidence in her posture.

Then I caught her staring at me.

At first, I thought I was imagining things.
Then I almost choked on my food when I realized it was me.

I quickly turned around to check if there was something behind me she was actually looking at.

Nothing.

When I faced her again, she smiled.

I couldn’t believe my luck. Why fine girl go dey look me?
Now, I won’t lie. My confidence immediately rose by at least 200%.

I smiled back.

And just like that, a silent conversation began. For the next few minutes, neither of us looked away. In fact, she wasn’t even pretending anymore.

She looked directly at me with a smile that could make a pastor forget to announce offering and tithe

And of course, I looked back. I studied everything. The way the corners of her eyes folded whenever she smiled, the curve of her lips, the size of her brezz, even the confidence in her stare.

I was observing details like a detective working a mvrder case.

Then something happened.

A waiter walked up to her table. She said a few words to him but the entire time, her eyes never left mine. Not once.

The waiter glanced at me then looked back at her.

She nodded. Still staring at me.

The waiter smiled and started walking in my direction.

My heart immediately began beating like a drum.

The man reached my table, bent slightly, and said, “Bros, that fine aunty over there say make I ask you… if you no go come introduce yourself, or make she dey go?”

I smiled. Kept my eyes locked on hers. Then replied without even looking at him.

“Tell her say I no get money o. So make I still come?”

The waiter froze.

For a second, he looked at me as if he wasn’t sure he heard correctly.

Then he laughed. One short laugh. The kind of laughter you laugh when somebody impresses you in a way you never expected.

He shook his head in admiration and walked back to her table then bent down and whispered something into her ear.

I can only assume it was exactly what I said because the effect was immediate.

The smile disappeared from her face like accountability, humanity and integrity in our leaders

Gone! Forever!

She let out one long, angry hiss. Then she broke eye contact for the first time all evening and looked away.

I followed her gaze.

And that’s when I saw it.

Another table. Two yahoo looking guys drinking expensive drinks, plenty food and wearing big big chains and gold accessories like rappers

Their table was the only one carrying almost as much food and drinks as hers.

Her eyes settled on them almost instantly.

The hunt had resumed!

I smiled to myself, paid my bill, and headed for the exit.

As I got to the door, I glanced back one last time.

She was already smiling at her next investors.

No be me you go use sponsor that enjoyment ontop your table.

Olosho

The End

Ajebo Writer

©️ AjeboWriter Kingdavid