Spooky Boi

Who Is Thinking My Thoughts?

Before you can become the master of your mind, you must recognize that you are currently at the mercy of several unwanted “squatters” living in your mind, and they are in charge of your thoughts. If you want to be the boss of them, you must know who they are and what their motivation is, and then you can take charge and evict them.

Here are four of the “squatters” in your head that create the most unhealthy and unproductive thoughts:

1. The Inner Critic This is your constant abuser. He is often a conglomeration of:

Other people’s words; many times your parents. Thoughts you have created based on your own or other peoples expectations. Comparing yourself to other people, including those in the media. The things you told yourself as a result of painful experiences such as betrayal and rejection. Your interpretation creates your self-doubt and self-blame, which are most likely undeserved in cases of rejection and betrayal. He is motivated by pain, low self-esteem, lack of self-acceptance and lack of self-love.

Why else would he abuse you? And since “he” is actually you– why else would you abuse yourself? Why would you let anyone treat you this badly?

2. The Worrier This person lives in the future; in the world of “what ifs.”

He is motivated by fear which is often irrational and with no basis for it.

Occasionally, he is motivated by fear that what happened in the past will happen again.

3. The Reactor or Trouble-Maker He is the one that triggers anger, frustration and pain. These triggers stem from unhealed wounds of the past. Any experience that is even closely related to a past wound will set him off.

He can be set off by words or feelings. He can even be set off by sounds and smells.

He has no real motivation; he has poor impulse control and is run by past programming that no longer serves you, if it ever did.

4. The Sleep Depriver This can be a combination of any number of different squatters including the inner planner, the rehasher, and the ruminator, along with the inner critic and the worrier.

His motivation can be:

As a reaction to silence, which he fights against Taking care of the business you neglected during the day Self-doubt, low self-esteem, insecurity and generalized anxiety As listed above for the inner critic and worrier

Know your self-worth

Realizing your self-worth has nothing to do with checking your bank balance, it is about you, the person you are in life. We give others respect, love and consideration but how often do we give ourselves what is due? How you value yourself is based on the self-esteem you have, your self-esteem shows you how much you truly value yourself. Healthy self-esteem leads to independence, happiness, flexibility, the ability to adapt easily to change, cooperation and a positive outlook on any situation. Unhealthy or low self- esteem on the other hand leads only to irrational thoughts, unhappiness, fear of the new, rigidity, defensiveness and a negative outlook on life in general.

How we see ourselves has a lot to do with how others see us, if we are happy, smiling and full of confidence then others see us as someone they want to be around, if we respect ourselves and portray this then others will respect you too, after all how can you ask for respect from others if you don’t even respect yourself? So finding and developing your self-worth is all about developing your self-esteem, so let’s take a look at esteem

High self-esteem
If you have a high self-esteem you will see certain traits in yourself and how you see yourself, traits linked with a high self-esteem or self-worth are

You are secure about who you are and have confidence in your abilities

You allow yourself to show your true feelings to others

You don’t have intimacy problems in relationships

You are able to recognize and take pride in yourself for your achievements in life

You are easily able to forgive yourself for mistakes and also forgive others

Low self-esteem
Similarly, if you have problems with self-worth or low self-esteem then you will follow a certain pattern in your thoughts and ways, if you have problems with low self-esteem then you will see the following points in yourself

You lack belief in yourself and are very insecure

You have problems showing and accepting intimacy in relationships

You never let your true feelings show

You never recognize and give yourself credit for your accomplishments

You have the inability to forgive yourself or others

You resist change at every opportunity

Developing your self-worth
There are plenty of ways in which you can boost your self-esteem and change to a more positive and healthy outlook about yourself, here are some tips for developing and boosting your self-worth.

Don’t take other peoples criticism to heart, instead listen to what they are saying and learn from it.

Take some time out for yourself everyday, meditate, look inside yourself and realize all your good points and imagine changing your bad ones into more positive.

Celebrate and pride yourself on even the smallest achievements that you accomplish.

Do something every day that you enjoy, such as taking a walk in the sunshine or soaking in a bubble bath.

Never deprive yourself of something you enjoy, if you know you shouldn’t be doing it, then do it anyway and stop chastising yourself about it.

Talk positively to yourself, repeat affirmations to chase away all of the negative thoughts and feelings.

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