Elot Mary

My boyfriend said his pastor told him to let go of “distractions.”
He said he can’t continue with the relationship with me again…

Abeg na how i come be distraction🙄🙄

make wonna help me ask am if i be Netflix or tikok😭

I enter Garden of Eden quietly.

I see Eve, I say:
“Madam, quick one… who send you go that tree?”
Eve: “Nobody send me.”

Me: “So na curiosity kill the entire human race?? 😭”

I face Adam:
“Oga Adam, why you no advise your wife?”

Adam scratch head:
“My sister… you don argue with woman before? I value my peace 😭”

I shout:
“So the two of una just carry the entire human race go suffer because of one fruit? 😭😭😭😭

Chaii the two of una no try at all 😭😭😭

In Nigeria, if you go for a job interview and they says:
“you will hear from us”

Just move on with your life…
Start new goals…
Even sef marry because you no go recieve any call 😂😂😂

I am on my way to go and rescue those school children that were kidnap…
Am so pained😭😭😭

Who is with me on this 😭🏃‍♀️🇳🇬

My neighbour borrowed my charger since yesterday…

Till now, I no know if na charger adoption he come do.

Because this is 3 days now she never returned the charger😭

that charger has found a new home permanently 😩🔌

I sent my younger brother to buy bread and tea this morning…
This boy came back with shawarma and Pepsi.

I asked him,
“Who sent you??”

He said,
‘he want to Upgrade, he is tired of poor breakfast. 😭
I said,
'You want to upgrade untop my money😭😭

I still the think wetin i go do this boy, pls what should i do to this boy😭😭😭

I greeted one uncle politely:
“Good afternoon sir.”

He looked at me and said,
“What is good about the afternoon?”
Omo… since that day I just say “Afternoon.” i keep the good for my self😭🤣

In Nigeria, if you hear:
“I’m on my way”
Just relax… the person is still lying down 😭🤣🤣

Education is the key but am here still selling buns with all my degree 😭… even the key sef no fit open door.”

Abi I used the wrong key. GOD abeg who lock the door 😭😭

The way I plan my life vs the way life plan me… completely different 😭