The Edge - Self Development Group

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Detachment

This short article is merely a reflective one. The subject has intrigued nations throughout history in various ways, one word that thus far I believe we do not really have full understanding of its ‘real’ meaning. We may fantasies, reflect or debate over it, we may right a library of books on it and we may still be far away from understanding it. We may intellectually speak about it, however the more I delve into this subject called ‘detachment’ I feel that I am quit far away from really ‘living’ its ‘real’ meaning.

A Deeper Meaning

I came across a chapter on ‘Detachment’ recently in a book called ‘New Seeds of Contemplation’ by Thomas Merton. He was an American Trappist monk, writer, theologian, mystic, poet, social activist and scholar of comparative religion. Endorsed by individuals such as The Dalai Lama, Pope Francis, Francine Du Plessix Gray, hence I needed to see what the book was all about and his views on life per se. Thich Nhat Hann actually described him as ‘He is an Artist, a Zen’.

One statement struck a chord per se, he argues that ‘’I wonder if there are twenty men alive in the world now who see things as they really are. That would mean that there were twenty men who were free, who were not dominated or even influenced by any attachment to any created thing or to their own selves or to any gift of God, even to the highest, the most supernaturally pure of His grace. I don’t believe that there are twenty such men alive in the world. But there must be one or two. They are the ones who are holding everything together and keeping the universe from falling apart’’

What it May Mean

To add a bit of context here, lets dissect the statement a little bit. First of all, the form of detached individual that he is referring to is in my view light years from where I stand in my personal embodiment of it. My description here is merely a fantasy of my intellectual faculties, but far away to even phantom that state phenomenologically. Phenomenological here meaning to actually live and be in that state.

We are dominated by desire and he continues to describe that in a way even of the purest desires to do good is in fact an attachment to something. Even in moral principles we are drawn or influenced by the phenomena of something. Let’s say that we are entertaining an idea of charity or philanthropy work, or the purer way of living per se, is still a form of attachment to that. Perfectly legitimate and nothing wrong with it, but in the context of purest detachment that he describes here, is in fact an attachment to it.

A personal example is this, if you are one like me that meditates, notice how after a while we become attached to that. Whilst still a harmless exercise that would do not harm to others, even if we glorify it to be pure and important, it is in fact an attachment to it. Now, I may be able to understand, and please note that I am paraphrasing here from an interesting teacher of Vedanta principles that I once met. He said, in the beginning you will meditate to retrieve its benefits, however this in time will also need to drop, because you need to meditate for the sake of meditation and nothing else.

Why Then?

So then we may ask, what is the point? Well, let’s take a step back a little bit, in reality there is nothing wrong in being attached to anything worldly. However in this context, which is a reflective essay on the true nature of ‘freedom’, the ‘real’ nature to understand what we really are, that attachment to whatever it is may need to be collapsed.

In hindsight, even if we aspire to a purer way of living whatever that may be, or developing ourselves to some way of being that we may believe is just or pure, is still a form of attachment. A form of prison per se, maybe a golden prison but a prison never the less. A ‘golden’ prison that we believe and identify with.

Final Reflection

Therefore, what are we identifying with on a daily bases, what influences or notions of ourselves do we have about our identity. Maybe with that reflection done from time to time, just maybe we can grow the prison. Maybe then, after a while, whilst we still are living with certain bigger prisons or prisons that may seem fruitful, then maybe if we keep this in mind we may be able to collapse that identification, that prison, that belief system that moves us beyond ourselves and then, well, maybe, just maybe, through ‘grace’ we may be part of the two that he is referring to. Then we may be free for the sake of being free and seeing things as they really are – maybe.

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The Power to Succeed – What it May Take

Many ask, what is the secrete to success, what is the primal force per se. Well, if one has to be honest it is never a straight forward answer. Many factors come to play here, but for this read we will discover some basic elements, the ground, which without it, real success that is lasting may never be achieved.

Furthermore, lets agree that success may look or feel totally different to you than to your neighbour. Success also has different shades depending in what area of your life you look at. It also breeds a separate psychology towards it, depending on what success is to you. But today we will not explore these ideas, today we will touch on one basic necessity that may be crucial.

One basic but powerful need is to understand what one really wants. The issue with that however is that most of us don’t really know what we want. Let me elaborate, we may think we know what we want and sometimes we get it right but for the most part we may ‘believe’ a certain way of life will make us successful and inevitable happy.

To elaborate and expand on this subject, I will inject a statement by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “What lies before us, what lies behind us, is nothing compared to what lies within us’’.

What does he really mean by that?

Let us consider for a second that what lies within us is our ‘real’ potential or purpose. In my journey of this phenomena called life, I thought and had a belief that having lots of money, would make me feel or look successful and with that feel important. I did that, but if I were to be honest, it did not really make me happy, neither did I feel important. Don’t get me wrong there was enthusiasm on the achievements, but really short lived.

It mirrored the statement that I read by Edward B. Butler ‘One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes success of his life’’. What he may be suggesting here like Ralf Waldo Emerson is that maybe we should be looking for something deeper that truly makes us happy – a purpose of sorts. For the most part, most people that I have met that have a purpose that really falls in line with them state that they are truly happy and it does not feel like work or anything like that, for them it is more of a way of life. Regardless of what anyone thought of them, they just did what they felt truly made them happy and that is very powerful. That will make you wake up early in the morning and that will make you go back to bed late at night with lasting enthusiasm.

Don’t get me wrong, money does give an element of freedom in this world and the way we operate. And, money in itself is just that, the association that we have with money is what creates problems such as greed – its association to it does that, by itself it’s pretty harmless. The point is, you can have ‘plenty’ of it and still be miserable – true story. However this article is not about money and its ethics – that is for another article.

What can be done if we have not found it yet – the purpose?

Going back to the drawing board per se. I remember being asked when I was a very young child – what would you like to become when you grow up? Most children would utter something cool like, an astronaut or a firefighter. However, without any hesitation I said that I wanted to be a priest. Wait, just wait, let me explain. From my child worldview, I saw priests as an old wise man with knowledge and wisdom and the unknown. From a very young age I aspired knowledge and wisdom and what the meaning of all this so called life is about. That was a deep purpose that I laid of for a very long time.

I wanted to make those big bucks to feel important and as life goes on, you grow older, go to school, get a job to make the bucks that you thought would make you happy and successful and then you get married and then…. Well, you know the storyline. However in my early twenties, I was lucky to cross paths with one of my mentors and he started entertaining these heedful questions.

His favourite was ‘Who is I’? That had a deeper meaning but it did start a process of reflections, a journey of discovery of sorts. With that, slowly but surely I embarked on affairs that made me truly happy and one was the search for deep knowledge. Did I stop all my life to do that? No, but as the years went by, I discovered a couple of things that fell more in line with what I am about and a couple of core ideas that I wished to make them into a way of life – which stems from a purpose and I had a couple of them.

Then, what is our responsibility and choice?

We all have established some form of a life of sorts with different shades and well, bills to pay. We are not suggesting here to stop everything that you are doing and go up a mountain to find your purpose. However what is being suggested here is to take stock from time to time in reflection or contemplation. Start reflecting what would really make you happy, a search of a core purpose, what would give you enthusiasm for a lifetime, what would give you energy beyond comprehension? Who is You? Another suggestion is to seek guidance from teachers or mentors, better a person that has no person interests towards you, but is just there as an accountable partner that will question you proactively. Question you in the sense that we may believe we want something but it may come from some sort of insecurity or lack, which usually after its achievements, the enthusiasm is short lived. Neither is there anything wrong with that, but what we are suggesting here is that unlimited power toward a successful life as Edward B. Butler suggested – which comes with a purpose. This will be your unlimited fuel, upon which you will need no validation from anyone, because you know it really fits with you.

Final thoughts…

Anthony Robbins, who is an American author, coach and speaker that entertained many purposes in his life who also was guided with his own mentors stated ‘’There is a powerful driving force inside every human being that, once unleased, can make any vision, dream, or desire a reality. My life’s quest has been to awaken this force and help each of us to remember and use the unlimited power that resides within us all’’

He travels around the world entertaining and sharing these ideas and it really comes down in finding a purpose and in his case, that he calls a ‘quest’ was just to do that. But it does take that responsibility from you to start self-reflection, because once we know ourselves a little bit more, we get closer to what really makes us happy. This could be several idea, such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, from Body Building to Terminator (ok ok actor) to Politics then to serving the community.

You may be also discouraged by your age – I am too old now or I am 70. Well, here is a question for you, how old will you be if you do not start? My bet is pretty old – never. Even if you are 70, the fact that you are entertaining or going towards these ideas opens a door of enthusiasm – going towards something that really matters to you and is very close to your heart.

The Edge is here also to assist and discuss these ideas with you, should you wish to entertain them. If you look at all the great or really happy individuals in the context of this article, there is usually a common factor per se, they did not do it alone. And I do not think it is ever meant to be that way because we are human and humans impact humans for better or for worse – here it is the former.

Curious about what to expect at the 'Move Beyond the Past' workshop? Get ready to dive deep into self-discovery, empowerment, and transformation. We can't wait to embark on this journey with you!

Anxiety is a common problem today. In fact, many of today's issues arise from a deep insecurity. It may not be obvious but many of our problems have their root cause in insecurity. We will discover in the workshop how we can face these challenges so they do not hinder us in our daily life.

Challenges in your work environment? Many of the issues we face today are based on conflicting points of view. Getting a team to all pull together can solve most problems.

‘Clearing' is a powerful way to do this.

Executives these days are pushed into areas that they are not familiar with - feeling comfortable with all aspects of your being will create less tension at home or in the workplace. If you haven’t tried ‘Clearing’ then you may be missing out on an easier path.

If you have tried to create a better life for yourself and your loved ones but still find something lacking, then this is for you.

We try many paths on the road to more peace and happiness in our lives, until we can recognise and accept the part we have played in creating our world we will continue to look outside for the answers. This workshop will help us facilitate a safe environment to face certain aspects that we are not comfortable with.

A new approach to old problems, one that doesn’t require you to continue struggling.

Clearing, developed by Eric Dowsett, who will be in Malta in September presenting a weekend workshop will share with you