The Baby Sleep Doula

So nice to be back doing a baby sleep talk for Antenatal group tonight. I could have talked all night! 🤣

Thanks for asking me Lisa I love your new space. 🥰 It’s so tranquil and beautiful.

There are lots of other baby and wellbeing classes on offer in Urmston, Manchester so go check them out!

This is not a post about being unresponsive…I wholeheartedly advise being responsive to your baby. However, sometimes we can be too responsive & too quickly, which can cause more problems when it comes to sleep.

As mothers, we do indeed have spidey senses & are so in-tune with our babies that we are constantly on high alert & jump up at the slightest noise.

But we have to remember that babies are noisy sleepers & they aren’t always calling out for support.

I often advise my clients to just take a step back, PAUSE & breathe before rushing into their child.

👉🏼 The issue with jumping up instantly & reacting is we don't know what we're reacting to or what our baby needs.
👉🏿 By taking a breath & pausing, it gives us chance to assess the situation, check the time & think about what our babies might be crying out for.
👉🏽Reacting instantly can often lead to us disturbing our little ones, hindering them from comfortably re-settling or result in us fire fighting as we try & determine what the problem may be when in-fact there wasn't one.
👉🏻Their noise, cries & whimpers can be perfectly normal during phases of active sleep or they could simply be transitioning from one sleep cycle to another.

After a PAUSE/deep breath from yourself, if your little one’s noise hasn’t escalated & they haven’t got emotional, in-fact it’s all gone quiet, then leave them to it.

On the other hand if the murmurs ramp up & turn into full on communication at the top of their lungs then definitely RESPOND.

👆🏼Of course you know your child better than me & some children do go from 0-100 in seconds.

There will be times when pausing can make things worse, especially if you have a highly sensitive child & I totally understand how pausing for a few minutes can feel like forever.

Nonetheless, trust me when I say it really can be worth it!

🫵🏽Do you jump up/wake instantly at your little ones every murmur? Try my tip & let me know how you get on.

Well don't! After learning the hard way with my little one, my best advice to you is not to stress over things you can't control.

I remember vividly telling the staff at my son’s nursery that he will "never in a million years", go to sleep on a mat, in a strange place, with other children in the same room- so not to even bother! How wrong I was!!

🆘l've had lots of mums contact me recently, asking for my advice on this subject.

Of course every child is different but I have rarely come across a child that doesn't adapt quickly to their new nap time routine at childcare. Also bear in mind that your child will not expect the same level of attention as they do at home.

Here are My TOP TIPS for making a smoother transition & calming your nerves:

👉🏽FAMILIARITY:
Discuss your concerns with the childcare provider & ask if you can bring along some of your child's sleep associations (sleeping bag, comforter or even white noise machine). If your child has a way of getting to sleep at home, ask daycare if there's any chance they can follow through with this routine at least for the first few days.

👉🏾SCHEDULE:
Daycare will probably work on a different schedule, if you can't get the two in sync (or there's flexibility) then just go with it & relax. It's ok to have a 2 nap schedule at home & only 1 at nursery. Chances are your little one will be extra tired on days at home anyway after a busy time at daycare.

👉🏻CONSISTENCY:
Little ones can tell the difference between sleep at childcare & at home & are adaptable. Even if they don't sleep well at nursery, it's important to remain consistent at home & focus on overnight sleep being the most restorative. If you've been working on independent sleep skills at home but it's all gone to pot at nursery don't give up!

👉SLEEP DISTRIBUTION:
If naptime is a disaster at davcare then consider a catnap on the way home or make bedtime earlier to compensate.
Too little sleep can make bedtime tougher but too much day sleep can potentially lead to a split night or early wake.

Overall stay calm & remember tomorrow is another dav!

SAVE or TAG a friend who may find this useful.

Sleep generally comes from a place of calm. In most circumstances, to get your little one to sleep- YOU being calm & your little one being calm is so important.

If you’re stressed, anxious & in a heightened state then babies easily pick up on this & in turn become fractious, restless, more alert and stressed.

🧘‍♀️Rather than putting all your energy into working out how you’re going to get your little one to sleep, try re-grouping and concentrate on how you’re going to stay calm.

⚽️Yes the ultimate goal is to get them to sleep, but in order to achieve this they need to be calm. Which in turn means the number one priority at the start of bedtime is that YOU need to be calm.

🫵🏽No amount of willing, rushing or trying lots of different things in a desperate attempt to bring on sleep will work. This is particularly important if you’re experimenting with a new routine, different person settling or even an upset or out of flunter child.

Here are some of my tips to stay calm at bedtime:

🥛Make sure you aren’t thirsty or hangry before you start bedtime.
🚽Take a p*e so you’re not agitated & desperate at any point during bedtime.
🧘🏽Do some gentle movement or even massage to relieve any tension or pent up emotion before bedtime.
😤 Focus on your breathing & learn some techniques to concentrate on whilst settling your little one.
🌊Listen to some meditation or even a podcast through your headphones before or during bedtime.
🤯Don’t rush, raise your voice or let your body language give off negative vibes.
👶🏼Remind yourself that your little one needs you and is trying to manipulate you.

P.S Being & staying calm at bedtime takes work & practice, nobody is perfect. Rest assured I’ve lost my s**t many times!

Can you recommend anything that helps you stay calm at bedtime or even nap time?